Parenting as a Christian Single Dad

Every so often it is important to take an inventory of how and who we are living our lives for. It is very easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of this world and get side tracked from our true calling.

Here are 5 points (questions) that help me to refocus and sometimes point out the ugly reality of my life, that I have a foot on both sides of the fence.

1. How should I be living? I should be living a life responding to God. Is that what I am doing?
2. What is my goal in life? To know Jesus and have a loving and intimate relationship with Him.
3. What am I doing to achieve questions 1 & 2? Knowing the answers is not enough. I need to have a plan to achieve my goal of living a life for God.
4. What am I running towards? Often times I find myself running towards the things of this world rather than Jesus.
5. What desires of my flesh are holding me back? For me this often comes to sex and money. Yep I am putting that out there for everyone to see. The last time I checked I was still an imperfect human and I can honestly say that the things that tend to hold me back are these desires.

For the past week I have been looking at ways to get both feet back on the side for God. I have been trying to “fast” not from food but from the world. I have spent very little time on the computer trying to make an extra buck. Instead I have given more of that time over to being content with what I have. Taking time to read and relax. Another area of my life that has helped to follow God is to get in the giving mode. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing anymore. I can give of my time, money, and resources. I look around my home and see so many things I wasted money on. Five, Ten, or Fifteen dollars here and there can go a long way in helping people when the right people get it. So I have been stepping out and giving a little at a time and it feels good.

Sometimes I realize that I am holding on way to tight to things and instead of feeling more secure I feel depressed and anxious. Is it the things that we hold on to the tightest that are keeping us from God? I think in my case that may be…

In a nutshell I am curious how others deal with the homeless begging on the corner of every shopping center in town. I understand times are tough and many are trying to make it for their families but how do you tell the difference between the professional street beggar and the one that is there out of circumstance.

I hate giving money to someone and having to worry they are just going to run out and buy smokes or booze. Boise, Idaho is such that there are many shelters and organizations that feed and provide shelter for the homeless so I struggle with handing money out my window to a stranger. I would much rather donate it to the local food bank or shelter to make the most of it. Plus handing money out the window seems so impulsive and to me that isn’t how we are supposed to be with our finances. I don’t know…

Any thoughts because I feel a bit callous about this whole thing.

With life comes anxiety, even more so if you have children. It is easy to be consumed with worry and anxiousness. For me I don’t realize just how much anxiety I have until I lay down to go to sleep. It doesn’t take long for the thoughts and emotions to come rushing out preventing me from getting my beauty sleep which in turn causes more anxiety. It has taken me a long time to learn how to deal with anxiety and there is a simple formula.

1. Admit to being anxious
2. Know the Lord is near
3. Don’t be anxious about anything
4. Prayer and petition
5. Thanksgiving
6. Peace of God will guard you heart and mind

So now you are probably wondering “Jason what the heck are you talking about?” The point is this… We need to come to a place in our lives where we can see the anxiety and worry, not just living our lives on auto pilot. We need to be “confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 1:6)

When we admit that we are anxious we are directing our attention towards it to fix things. We need to remember that God is with us and that He tells us not to be anxious about anything for tomorrow will worry about itself. Through prayer; thanksgiving and petitions we give it over to God and He will guard our hearts and minds.

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” These are the types of things we should be thinking on.

I apply this to my life by laying in bed and relaxing, praying and thanking God for what He has and is doing for me. If my mind acts up again, I offer up additional thanksgivings. Sometimes I have to open the bible and read a bit but usually the anxious worrisome thoughts that are keeping me up subside.

Additional information on managing severe anxiety

For me it is a rare thing to read books published in the early 1900's but I think I have stumbled across an author that I like... Orison Swett Marden. He is straight forward and I could see how to some he may be too honestly brutal.

Wanted, a man who will not lose his individuality in a crowd,k a man who has the courage of his convictions, who is not afraid to say "No," though all the world say "Yes."

Wanted, a man who, though he is dominated by a mighty purpose, will not permit one great faculty to dwarf, cripple, warp, or mutilate his manhood; who will not allow the over-development of one faculty to stunt or paralyze his other faculties.

Wanted, a man who is larger than his calling, who considers it a low estimate of his occupation to value it merely as a means of getting a living. Wanted, a man who sees self-development, education and culture, discipline and drill, character and manhood, in his occupation.

Kind of poetic isn't it and from a godly perspective it makes some sense. God is always calling us to be more. To have his character, to be on fire for him and the kingdom.

The great need at this hour is manly men. We want no goody-goody piety, we have too much of it. We want men who will do right, though the heavens fall, who believe in God, and who will confess Him. -- REV. W.J. Dawson

There are many ways to success and many degrees. Much of it depends on the person and what God has called them to do. Beecher said, "Do the best you can where you are; and, when that is accomplished, God will open a door for you, and a voice will call, "Come up hither into a higher sphere."

Do not think just because you don't have money or capital to begin with you wont' be successful. Most of the rich men of the years began poor. The chances are you would be ruined if you had money. You can only use to advantage what has become a part of yourself by you earning it. It is estimated that not one rich man's son in 10,000 dies rich. God has given every man a capital to start with; we are born rich. He is rich who has good health, a sound boyd, good muscles; he is rich who has a good head, a good disposition, a good heart; he is rich who has two good hands, with five chances on each.

Equipped?

Every man is equipped as only God could equip him. What a fortune he possesses in the marvelous mechanism of his body and mind. It is individual effort that has accomplished everything worth accomplishing in this world. Money to start with is only a crutch, which, if any misfortune knocks it from under you, would only make your fall all the more certain.

As a single dad I have realized that grocery shopping can have its challenges. With all the different selections these days and the long list of ingredients that I can’t pronounce I have cut way back on packaged foods and am buying fresh types of food products. While I am on the subject of shopping I do need to ask one quick question. I seem to have this perception that women are born with the ability to pick good fruit and vegetables. Is this true and should I stop watching them to see how they do it??

In the likelihood that I never get an answer to this question or it stirs up debate for years I have come across certain top secret information for men on how to pick the right foods to eat.

I have learned that buying more than a weeks worth of produce only leads to waste and if I plan my consumption ahead of time I tend only buy what I can eat. I also have to put my vegetables out where I can see them because I forget, at times, that I bought a particular one to munch on during a weekend day until it is too late. So when the weekend is coming I like to put the cucumber or whatever I bought that I don’t usually cook with on the shelf so I can see it. That way when the time comes on Saturday I can chop it up, put it in a bowl, set it on the coffee table, and munch on it throughout the day. A quick not about cucumbers is to look for ones that are bright and even colored. It should look fresh. A cucumber should be firm on both ends and throughout and smaller cucumbers tend to have a larger flesh to seed ratio. If you are going to eat the whole cucumber or seed it you are better off getting a smaller cucumber.

Okay I know you don’t really care about my eating habits so lets look at how to select produce at the store. For starters you want to look at the color, firmness, and crispness of the produce. This tends to occur when the produce is in season. It seems that over the years fruit and vegetables have lost their flavor. So I try to pay even more attention to picking the right produce. If it is bruised or wilted then steer away from it. It isn’t going to last much longer and may not taste very good. Yes, I learned this the hard way.

Each fruit and vegetable has its uniqueness about it and may require a bit more investigation… For example, when buying watermelons you want to look for a rough yellow patch on it. If it doesn’t have one it may mean that it was picked too early. I am a huge grape fan and I hate getting a bad batch but if you pick grapes that are firm, smooth, and still attached to the vine it increases your chances of getting good grapes.

I know this isn’t an all conclusive list but there is tons of information out there about buying fruits and vegetables. Each one has its own little quirks. Happy shopping.

Tips for Making Time with God

1. Making going to church a priority! Many churches have several service times and some on Saturday nights. The also provide childcare. If going to church isn't an option at this point and time try watching a sermon on TV from a local church. You can also find sermons online but don't surf the Internet at the same time. Treat it as if you are really there with bible in hand.

2. Find a small group, bible study, to attend during the week! I go every other week on a day I don't have Madalyn. I look for groups that are close to where I live so it doesn't take long to get home afterward... I need my sleep.

3. Find time to read your bible! My daughter tends to be high maintenance so at times I feel I'm not able to read my bible or do many other things that need done. You would be surprised at the opportunities you may be passing up, I was. Trust me, I know there is always something that needs to get done but when you are nourishing the Spirit when you do get to those "to dos" they just go that much quicker and easier.

a) Make time in the morning, before the kids get up. I don't do this because I am not a good morning person, I wish I was but I like to hit the snooze way to much.

b) Chances are the kids are going to want to watch their favorite show or cartoon for a little bit when you get home. Instead of watching it with them or jumping into the chores spend the next 15 minutes or so of reading.

c) Read a chapter out loud to the kids at the dinner table while eating.

d) Take your bible to work and read on your break or lunch hour.

e) Buy an Apple iPod or MP3 Player, download sermons and listen to them while at work or the gym.

f) If your commute is long enough plan on listening to a NIV Audio Bible, to and from work. Get some good bible studies on CD.

g) Sing a worship song while making dinner... the kids might even join in.

h) Pray to God throughout the day with whatever comes to mind.

These are but a few tips... I am sure there are lots more. The point is to make God a priority every day. Now that I said that I would also like to add don't beat yourself up if you aren't perfect. We are saved by Grace not works.

God’s Recipe for Managing Anxiety

With life comes anxiety, even more so if you have children. It is easy to be consumed with worry and anxiousness. For me I don’t realize just how much anxiety I have until I lay down to go to sleep. It doesn’t take long for the thoughts and emotions to come rushing out preventing me from getting my beauty sleep which in turn causes more anxiety. It has taken me a long time to learn how to deal with anxiety and there is a simple formula.

1. Admit to being anxious
2. Know the Lord is near
3. Don’t be anxious about anything
4. Prayer and petition
5. Thanksgiving
6. Peace of God will guard you heart and mind

So now you are probably wondering “Jason what the heck are you talking about?” The point is this… We need to come to a place in our lives where we can see the anxiety and worry, not just living our lives on auto pilot. We need to be “confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 1:6)

When we admit that we are anxious we are directing our attention towards it to fix things. We need to remember that God is with us and that He tells us not to be anxious about anything for tomorrow will worry about itself. Through prayer; thanksgiving and petitions we give it over to God and He will guard our hearts and minds.

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” These are the types of things we should be thinking on.

I apply this to my life by laying in bed and relaxing, praying and thanking God for what He has and is doing for me. If my mind acts up again, I offer up additional thanksgivings. Sometimes I have to open the bible and read a bit but usually the anxious worrisome thoughts that are keeping me up subside.

Even though there is no shortage of resources on the internet or every where else for that matter about cooking I have decided since I really like to cook I am going to start a new section on healthy cooking and eating. Of course the healthy part may be up for debate however eventually I will have many fun and tasty recipes that I have enjoyed with my little girl. Yes, these have been child approved.

Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup with Biscuits

Chicken Soup Ingredients

1 49.5oz can of chicken broth
2 cups chopped carrots
2 cups chopped celery
1 small chopped onion
2 6oz cooked and chopped chicken breast
2 cups egg noodles

Biscuit Ingredients

1 cup flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder (yes that is one and a half teaspoons, not one half)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons olive oil

While the chicken is cooking chop and combine all the ingredients except for the egg noodles into a 5.5 quart sauce pan (or whatever pan you have that is big enough). Once the chicken is done, chop it up and add it to the pot. Bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer for about 15 minutes. During this time prepare your biscuits (continued below). After the 15 minutes add your 2 cups of egg noodles and cook for about another 10 minutes.

Making the biscuits...
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees (on bake). Mix the dry ingredients in a medium sized bowl then add the oil and milk, mix well. The dough may be a bit sticky but that is okay. Portion the dough out into a mini muffin pan, if you don't have one use a cookie sheet but try to make 10 to 12 muffins. Bake them for 10 or so minutes until they start turning brown. Serve with the soup.

Makes about 4 to 5 servings

Tips: I like to buy ready to cook and quick frozen chicken. All you have to do is throw it in the pan and cook. Feel free to get creative by adding other vegetables you and your kids like. In my opinion Tabasco never hurts anything just don't forget to dish up the kids' first. Top off your biscuits with a little dill weed for a different flavor or paprika for color (do this before baking).