Parenting Style Under Fire

Recently my parenting style has been under fire by my ex. I understand the need for good communication and consistency for Madalyn but the issues that are being brought to my attention seem relatively minor.

I guess to begin with I really don’t have a parenting style… I am doing the best I can and most of it is shooting from the hip. Like a lot of people out there I work full time and work hard to provide for my kid. I make mistakes each and every day but I try.

The past few weeks Madalyn’s mom has not been around much. Madalyn has been living with me full-time and I am truly blessed. During this time “mom” has taken Madalyn to a couple places where her behavior was inappropriate and I got all the blame. Apparently she acted the way she did because of how I interact with her and parent her, at least that is what mom said.

Incident (1) – They were at church and Madalyn was grabbing at a gentleman’s pants. Granted maybe not the best thing she should be doing yet the way I got it was I am to blame because of how I horse around with her. “WHATEVER!” I remember Madalyn doing that to a salesman at the store when I bought my camera. She grabbed his leg and was hiding from me. It startled both of us but I dealt with it and that was it…

Incident (2) – They went to dinner and Madalyn would not sit down and eat. She bothered others and embarrassed mom. Boy don’t I know it. This is one reason why Madalyn and I don’t eat out much. She has a tendency to not be able to sit still. Her and I are working on this and she has gotten better because she knows there will be consequences. Yet the way I got is was it was my fault because I don’t have enough dinnertime structure at home. Like I said before I try and it always seems like there is something that needs to get done so I cram all I can in the time I have. Yes, I eat and watch about 27 minutes of television at the same time. I could use some dinner time and eating out tips if anyone has any.

Honestly, I don’t know how to take it. I am tired of being blamed for everything, yet I should be used to it. I think Madalyn is a wonderful 3 year old little girl. She does have areas that I want to improve on but she is a darn good kid, most of the time. And I think I am doing the best that I can and I really don’t think I should be criticized by a person whom takes part in her daughters life on an inconsistent basis.

Feeling the Pinch at the Pump

It seems oil prices are continually hitting new highs. It seems like just yesterday they were $50 a barrel, now they are closer to $140. Someone is making money and all I know for sure it is not me.

Luckily I don’t have to do a lot of travel with Madalyn. All the parks and pools we could ever need are within walking distance but I still do feel the sting of high gas prices. I have seen some stories out there of people conserving fuel and getting the most per gallon, some of which I don’t think are very safe.

Here are some tips to save money at the pump that I have found to be most useful.

1. Lighten the load in the car, get rid of unnecessary weight that weighs the car down.
2. I use the cheapest gas possible.
3. Use gas rewards cards and take advantage of the savings they offer.
4. Cut back on driving.
5. Plan your trips using Google Maps to cut out unnecessary driving. Develop the most efficient route.

Song for the Day - Fade Away

Madalyn just went to her mom's and the quietness is good and bad. It was kind of funny because she was itching to go. She has been with me for 3 weeks straight and I think she was in the mood to get away. She telling her mom, "lets go". It was like if they did not leave right away then they may not leave together. Actually, that may be the case with her mom... You never know.

Anyhow here is a song to keep things rockin! Place your cursor over the play button and right click.

Plugging Along

Things have been going exremely well lately. God has answered my prayers and I am spending a considerable more time with Madalyn. It has been a blessing even though I am unable to get things done. I must admit I don't know how you single moms do it. I think I have read somewhere that woman are much better multi-taskers than men. There may be some truth in that... :-)

Letting Go and Moving On

One of my recent posts talked about everything being quiet between my ex and I. It is kind of funny because I have been doing a lot of praying about being able to see Madalyn more and WHAM! not long after putting the post on my blog I get a call. Mom is not going to be able to get Madalyn for the week. The week ends and I get another call, this time mom is crying, still not going to be able to get Madalyn.

Come to find out my ex is having problems with finding affordable living accommodations and paying her bills. This has been going on for several months now but I thought she had it all worked out. Anyhow, Madalyn is with me and I am feeling a little guilty. I know the kid misses her mom and I need to put the kid first. So I invited mom to come get Madalyn and go get her hair cut, go out for ice cream, and then go out to dinner, my treat. You should have seen the kids face when mom showed up at the door. She was so cute and a little shocked. She didn’t know how to respond with mom and dad in the same room.

It was cute and sad at the same time. I guess if I am ever to find another wife I better get over my resentment of my ex. I have been keeping distance between us because I can’t forgive her for what she did and being around her makes me sick to my stomach. But that is selfish and that is my problem that I have given over to God. I am ready to move on! If I can bring a smile to Madalyn’s face the way her mom did that Saturday then it is worth letting go.

Please pray that I will forgive my ex and myself and be able to put the past behind me. I am ready to see what God has in store for me, I am ready to receive it! I want to let someone else into my life so I can love even more. I need someone to help keep me in my place. :-)

I Want to be a Stay at Home Dad

When I was married I was working hard to make it so my wife could be a stay at home mom. The problem was she or we had to much debt that made it impossible, at least for the short term. Everything was in place and I had a 3-year plan to change it all.

Well now it has been almost 2-years since we parted ways and I am no better off financially. And to top it off I find that I wish I could work at home and be a stay at home dad. Is it normal for a guy to want to be with his child so much? Sure there are times she drives me crazy but I love the stuffing out of her.

Kind of silly, huh? I don't think of remarrying and trying to provide the opportunity for my next wife to stay at home. I want it for myself... :-) I guess in that case I know I would appreciate it unlike my previous wife. What I learned from that experience is that, "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished."

Communication with Mom

Over the past several weeks things have been very quiet between me and the ex. No late night calls to come get Madalyn, no call reminding me what a terrible guy I am, nothing... Yes, I know this is a good thing, as you guessed there is a "but". Those annoyances provided me with the opportunity to see Madalyn more than my normal time.

I still get her 50% but it used to be more. The problem I have is that I realized that I am, for a lack of a better term, scared. I miss Madalyn a lot and I would like to talk to her on the phone but I don't want to call because I would have to talk to her mom. So I sit, saddened and discouraged wondering why I just don't pick up the phone and call.

I haven't even called to talk about Madalyn's biting at daycare. The real sad thing is I know this shouldn't be a big deal. I have dealt with so much more and worse. I should know better!