Parenting as a Christian Single Dad

Men are not influenced by things, but by their thoughts about things.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

This verse always does me good!

Here it is another Friday night and I am finding myself lonely, alone and depressed. I feel like I am the only one that has no plans or no one to spend quality time with. At least when I have Madalyn I have companionship and something to do. I guess it is not all bad, I do enjoy the time to myself but for so long I have prayed for my best friend. I continue to pray that God will make the way for her soon.

On a different note: I have been praying for ideas and places to meet people that don’t have to do with bars and clubs and as I checked my mail this evening I found a neat publication that listed classes for next month at local high schools. All sorts of classes, it was a total answer to prayer. The opportunity to be around others and learn something, WOW! I know God worked that out for me and I am thankful. I can’t wait to check some out next month.

Tomorrow will be better, I can see Madalyn running to daddy for a big hug, I can’t wait. I can’t wait for some adult companionship either but there is nothing like a 2 year old to keep me smiling. I am surprised how hard it is to meet people at church that have the time or even the same interests. I know I must give it over to God and show some patience, a quality I lack.

Casting Crowns - East To West
From the album The Altar And The Door

Casting Crowns – East To West
From the album – The Altar And The Door

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Chorus:
Jesus can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Chorus:

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through
get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Chorus:

Just how far, east is from the west
Just how far, one scarred hand to the other
You know just how far, just how far east is from west
Just how far, from one scarred hand to the other

I have decided to take on the challenge of potty training Madalyn and have discovered the perfect reward, bribe, BANDAIDS. She loves them, she loves them so much she sticks them anywhere and everywhere she can, even if she doesn’t have a boo boo. She protects them with everything she has; sweet puppy dog eyes, tears, the “no daddy not my bandaid”, and the occasional scream. It is the cutest thing…

Anyhow, I have been trying to figure out the right reward to offer when she uses her potty and candy seemed to be my best tool. After much contemplation it finally dawned on me that I might have an alternative. So I tested my theory. “Madalyn if you go in your potty I will give you a bandaid.” I never seen her rip off her shorts and diaper so fast and jump on the pot before. It was so cute, every time I think upon it I break out laughing.

I used to not be looking forward to potty training but that has changed. Now both of us are excited to do it. I thank God for memories that can continually bring a smile to my face no matter where I am at or how my day is going.

Every now and again I am confronted with the thoughts that I am not good enough to serve God. My faith is tested and often times I find myself thinking of days long gone wishing I had the chance to do things a little differently. If I am looking to put the breaks on my walk with the Lord and throw myself a pity party the best way for me to do that is to think back to the many bad things that I have done or even worse been done to me.

Do I want to continue to be the victim of what others have done? No…I don’t! Even worse do I want to punish myself for the things that I have done? Of course not.

What is it to be a mature Christian and move beyond past sins and transgressions committed towards me? I have often heard that time heals all wounds but I know that the truth is God heals all wounds, sometimes it just takes time.

“God I pray that you would heal my wounds of the past and restore me. Give me a new heart and open my eyes and make me see myself as you see me. I need help God! Help me to truly understand this passage in my heart and accept it by faith. Philippians 3:13-15 Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things.”

Jason get out of the past and look to today! I have a new song that has really been helping me as of late by Casting Crowns, East to West. I’ll get the lyrics for my next post.