Parenting as a Christian Single Dad

I have noticed that the past few times that Madalyn comes back over to my house from her mom’s she is a bit of a stinker. I wonder why because her and I have a good relationship.

She is starting to say things like, “I want to be with my mommy, forever.” She does some kicking, screaming, and hitting. Basically she throws a fit.

The first part of that statement I understand and I deal with by addressing it with a, “I know and you will see her soon.” But the “forever” part throws me for a loop. I can’t figure where she is coming up with that. I don’t use that word, if rarely because I don’t believe in to many absolutes but anyhow I can’t even think how her mom may be using it.

Is this just something that kids pick up? It does not take long for her to warm up to me when she is in one of these moods, all it usually takes is a good tickle and she is happy as can be.

There are other verbal things she is doing that seem similar and they usually are a negative towards me. Maybe I am being too sensitive and I am scared that she may resent me for not being able to see her mom, which is not my fault. Unfortunately her mom doesn’t spend all the time she could with her daughter. She often times has things to do and\or says she “emotionally” can’t handle it. This is fine with me because I live for my little girl but she does miss her mom and I hope that she doesn’t view me as the bad guy. I just want to provide a consistent, stable, and loving atmosphere for her.

I don’t know what to do… I just want Madalyn to be okay.

It has been over a year now since the separation and you would think that I could handle things better but still I find myself broken and sad minutes after Madalyn goes to her moms...

I know I will see her soon but I have never felt so attached to anything as I do my little girl. :-(

Madalyn is 3 now and I have not been too concerned about the fact that she is still using her binkie. For some reason she started using it when she was 1, I know by then she should of never had one. But after the separation and divorce I did not want to take it from her.

Well I have been praying about gradually getting her off the binkie, it is funny cause she acts like she "needs" it. An amazing thing happened a couple nights ago and that is she woke up and came to me in the middle of the night and told me her ear hurt. Great! I thought, another ear infection. So I get out the Healthwise handbook and we are looking through it. I notice it says that sucking on a pacifier past the age of 1 can greatly increase the occurances of ear infections. So I tell her that the binkie is hurting her ear and I also added, "princesses don't use binkies." Next thing I know she hands it to me and it has been almost 24 hours since she has had it in her mouth. She has not even asked for it. WOW!

I am in awe because she was like a kid addicted to candy, she always needed it. I thank God for answering my prayer because I have been nervous about taking on this battle.

Here’s a funny story that I got a kick out of, again I am amazed by what a 3-year old is capable of… So many times I pick Madalyn up from daycare, I hear of how wonderful she is at helping out and picking up. On occasion I even get to see her putting the toys away, and she does it cheerfully. What a good kid! She is just like her dad, ha-ha.

Not to long ago I start to notice when we get home that she just throws her coat and shoes off where ever is convenient, often times I tell her to put them in her room and she obeys, she stands at the door and throws them in. I think, “how cute”.

Last weekend to my surprise I walk into her room and it is a disaster zone, I mean everything is everywhere. I tell her that she is going to have to put her toys and stuff away and she looks me in the eye and says, “no daddy.” I tell her yes she is and I remind her how well she puts her toys away at daycare and this is no different. Again I tell her she is going to have to clean up the mess and she refuses, so I ask her, “then who is going to clean up your room?” she replies, “you are.” At this point I am trying not to laugh because it did have a high degree of cuteness, however I am not backing down. This weekend we are cleaning her room!

Wish me luck!



Oh and by the way if anyone knows how to sew, Big Bear (he's the one on the bed) needs help!

It wasn’t long ago that I was concerned about Madalyn being potty trained. Well the good news is she is and doing great at it. I still find it exciting when she runs off to use her potty, to her it is a normal habit but for me it is still so darn cute. Then she gets up on her stool and washes her little hands. What a good little girl…

She hasn’t wet the bed at night either but how could she because I still put a diaper on her. The diaper is dry in the morning and I am scared to stop using them. Does anyone have any recommendations for me? Is it okay for me to put a diaper on her at night or am I sending her mixed signals? I know this doesn’t sound like a big deal but I am really struggling with taking that next step and getting rid of the diapers all together.

I am sorry to admit but there used to be a time I really did not like kids. I didn’t hate them or anything I just did not like being around them. Even when I became a Christian I was not real fond of them. Well I am glad to say that has all changed.

Watching Madalyn grow and experiencing the joy, worry, love etc. that goes with raising a daughter has given me a new heart. I think a lot of my dislike in the past wasn’t really dislike but fear. Children scare me and now that I have one of my own I know that to be true. As a single Christian dad I am often confronted with uncertainty and even confusion but here I am 3 years later completely in love with the second most wonderful gift God has given me.

Just a couple nights ago I was talking to Madalyn about praying and I asked if she wanted to go first, she said “yes.” Before I know it she is rambling off everyone in her life and thanking God for them. It was the most precious thing I had ever seen. To know that she is beginning to understand about God, if I were to have one wish it would be that she would grow up loving Him.

All I know is that ever since Madalyn has been in my life I am a new man, still quite imperfect but new.

It has been a little over a year know since my wife left home and made me a single dad. I only get Madalyn 50% of the time but I am still her dad all the time in my heart. There was a time I thought I could not make it, even just for a day. But here I a year later and life is okay.

Sure I have my days but life is getting better, my relationship with God is growing and my relationship with Madalyn is growing as well. I know it is God who heals all wounds, not time, but it takes take time to be healed and even though I am not completely done healing I am making progress.

I have no new year resolution, my mission is the same. To be the best I can be and learn to live in God's grace more and more.

God Bless everyone this new year and we wish you the best...