Parenting as a Christian Single Dad

I don’t think I have ever been as angry as I am now. I hate being powerless when it comes to Madalyn’s well being when she is with her mom. I have just been informed that my daughter will be living with my ex’s current boyfriend, some guy she met in the bar a couple months ago. I just can’t get over that this woman would do this instead of let Madalyn stay with me while she gets back on her feet. But then again she would have to see that Madalyn flourishes and can be happy or that I am a good parent and therefore she thinks she is a bad parent. Maybe I am over reacting but I am disgusted with this decision my ex-wife has made. So what she committed adultery, so what she smacked me around, so what she destroyed any self-esteem I made of had. All of that is nothing compared to this. I have worked long and hard to heal and God has worked miracles in my heart. I have never felt more emotionally sound and happy than I do now and yet I feel cursed because my little princess is being exposed to sinful situations.

I know we live in a fallen world and bad things happen but I have endured more with the marriage and divorce to last me a life time. All I want is a healthy and godly environment for Madalyn. Why won’t God bring Madalyn to her daddy? WHY??

I know I am no saint, well actually I am but I am also a master at sin. I know I have my problems and make mistakes but I own up to those mistakes and even more so I know I need God. I don’t want folks to think that I think I am better than Madalyn’s mom but I have watched her make many poor choices in life that compromise Madalyn’s well being. However, she does not see it that way, maybe if she was able to recognize and take responsibility for some of these choices I would not feel so bad but she doesn’t.

She used to know God or at least pretend too, why doesn’t she understand what sin is anymore?

A month ago if someone were to ask me how I was doing I could of answered them, "pretty good." But lately I am not so sure I have grown as much as I hoped. I guess this is more of a relationship issue than a parenting issue but maybe for those that have been through a divorce you can help me a long.

I find myself angry and bitter at my ex lately, sure she is doing things that bother me but I am used to it, for the most part I have, or used to have, compassion in my heart for her and I know Madalyn needs her. Since she pretty much given me full custody of Madalyn she has renigged on the arrangement, not that her circumstances have changed but because, I think, she is bitter that Madalyn may be doing okay with her daddy. Ever since I told Madalyn's mom that she was doing really well and adjusting to the new arrangement she has taken Madalyn back and when I call to talk to Madalyn she hangs up on me. I am trying to be civil but I am at the end of my rope. I have grown accustom to being with Madalyn and now she isn't there. It's like in the beginning all over again. Sure I still have her 50%+ of the time but I want more.

I know I am selfish but I just want things to get easier between my ex and myself for Madalyn's sake and I seem to be on this never ending roller coaster ride and I hate roller coasters.

The past few weeks have been great! Madalyn has been with me most of the time because her mom wants to prepare her for not seeing her as much, because she will be homeless and be bouncing from place to place.

I have been trying to provide as much quality time for Madalyn to be with her mom and I thought things were going well. Unfortunately I made the mistake of telling my ex that Madalyn has been doing great. No more crying when I drop her off at daycare, she listens better, she is having more fun, less angry just overall she has been great. I know she misses her mom and I don't discourage that, infact I give her clothes to wear from mom's house and she talks to her on the phone.

Well her mom calls this morning as acuses me of taking advantage of the opportunity and trying to keep Madalyn. I thought I was just working with her not against her and of course Madalyn is stuck right in the middle. At the end of this month she will be homeless and barely making enough to provide for herself. I don't see why she would cause trouble for Madalyn knowing that she will be well provided for and loved. Everything with her is a competition, I have seen it before with her previous husbands. I just ask for folks to pray that Madalyn won't be a pawn and will feel loved from both of us. I hope my ex will let go of her pettiness and hate. As for me... I married the woman I guess I should suffer so focus your prayers on the kid, she is the only innocent person here.

For over a year now I have had 50% custody of Madalyn, actually more than that because my ex would often not be able to do her part. I have patiently waited for the opportunity to take full custody of Madalyn and it looks like that time is here. My ex has informed me that she can no longer provide for her daughter. All of her other children are at their father’s homes and now Madalyn will be at my home for the majority of the time.

I have watched my ex make poor decisions since deciding to divorce and pursue the “night life” along with various relationships. She has charged all her credit cards up, quit her job and now is going to have to live in a shelter. I am in shock and overwhelmed with pity for her and my little girl. Looking at my ex I can’t believe I ever felt anything for such a person and now she sinks to new lows.

I worry for Madalyn, she goes through one thing after another with this selfish, childish mother of hers. I only hope that I will be able to use this to my advantage and limit her exposure to her mother. I hope that I will be able to provide all that Madalyn needs and be able to handle this huge responsibility that I have been blessed with.