Parenting as a Christian Single Dad

Insight into Goal Setting

2009-12-20T11:04:00.000-08:00

I have done quite a bit of reading on goal setting and about making the most out of life. Well last week in church I came across a nice story written by Tim LaHaye called “True Riches”. I have been thinking about it all week and how to apply it to my life and the goals that I have set. I think it has great insight into setting goals as a Christian – so here goes:

Never settle for second-rate or selfish goals. Earl Nightingale, who probably has helped to motivate more people than any other living person, advises that people desiring success should never try to get rich. Above all, set goals for yourself that involve helping other people; the riches will follow. He has certainly captured the Biblical principle, “Give, and it will be given to you.” (Luke 6:38)

The richest people I know are those that have given themselves unselfishly to other people. Such motivation will affect the way you cook ,sell, teach, or ply your particular trade. True riches, of course, are totally unrelated to money or material reward. In fact, if a person has earned money without helping people, his money will not buy him happiness.

A perceptive real estate friend who sold rather expensive homes observed that a big house never brought happiness. But if people bought a big home with money they earned helping other people, they tended to enjoy that home. He expressed his homespun philosophy in these words, “Instead of buying a status symbol, a home should be an expression of how much help a person has been to his fellowman.” Of one thing I am sure: Happy people have strong goals – and somehow these include helping other people. They can also be assured that they will never run out of people to help.

Relationship with a Woman

2009-12-15T08:39:00.000-08:00

You might be thinking that this is another on of those pleas from Jason for a wife. Well gotch-ya, it isn’t.

I have been considering Madalyn and her relationship with her mother. The way her mom drops her off or has me pick her up during her time, usually because she is upset about something has me concerned. The kid loves her mom so much and I understand that but I am concerned that as Madalyn gets older she may start to think that she is to blame for her mother’s actions. Her mom tells her that she is never going to see her again and it sends Madalyn into tears saying, “Daddy I love you but I don’t want to be with you forever.” I know what she means but how do I convince her that everything is going to be okay? That her mom will be back she is just having another one of those moments. I am scared that Madalyn is not going to be able to have loving friendships with others because she is fearful of being rejected. I know I can’t fix her mom, hell I can’t even get her to admit to any wrong doing and effect change. I guess I am not sure what I can do to help Madalyn at this point.

Cereal for Breakfast – What Are You Feeding Your Kids

2009-12-09T11:13:00.000-08:00

It isn’t uncommon to serve up a bowl of cereal for breakfast. I am guilty, it is fast and easy but is it healthy? That is the dilemma… when it comes to cereal for children, according to a recent Yale study; the children are exposed to the least healthy breakfast cereals.

According to the study:

Cereals marketed to children have 85% more sugar, 65% less fiber and 60% more sodium than cereals marketed to adults for adult consumption. In addition, 42% of the child-targeted cereals contain artificial food dyes compared to 26% of family cereals and 5% of adult cereals.

Check out http://cerealfacts.org for more information or see where your cereal ranks and what the best brand is at http://cerealfacts.org/media/Marketing_Rankings/Brand_Nutrition.pdf

So who was labeled as the Worst offender? General Mills

Just a little food for thought when you are serving up your next breakfast. I know my kid gets enough sugar and it wouldn’t hurt to cut some of it out of her diet. It is easy to track with the candy and fruit snacks but breakfast is an easy meal to forget about when it comes to sugar. BTW: Kellogg and Post had better ratings. Over all it looks like if you want your kids to eat healthy cereal serve them up the cereal marketed to adults. It isn’t all bad… right?

Setting Health Goals for Children

2009-12-06T13:50:00.000-08:00

The past several weeks I have been on a diet, actually I am trying to encourage a lifestyle change to eat better and lose some unwanted body fat. Naturally Madalyn has been a recipient of my new diet - eating the boring meals I have been making. Last night she even told me how much she misses pizza… Poor kid, daddy misses pizza too and I miss chocolate, ice cream, pasta, dr pepper, fruit snacks, etc. The real hard part is that I work for a sugar company and we get all sorts of goodies this time of the year, that are very tempting, from our customers and third party associates. It is hard to say no to 5# blocks of chocolate or cookies that melt in your mouth from across the country. ---Oh boy! Huge digression here—back to the point.

Studies have shown that the prevalence of obesity among children aged 6 – 11 has more than doubled over the years. It has tripled for ages 12 – 19. Overweight children have a 70% chance of becoming overweight or obese adults. We all have heard the risks of being overweight and how it affects the body; increased risk of diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, asthma, arthritis, etc.

I have started setting goals for myself and I think setting goals for Madalyn is a great idea. If we don’t know where we want to go then we will never get there.

I know it is difficult to set goals for your children but this is really more of a goal setting exercise for you to do with your children. Setting goals helps to be accountable and promote growth and discipline.

Types of goals you can set to help your children live healthy lives:

I will cook healthy foods for myself and my children.

I will get regular physical activity with my children.

I will minimize sugary snacks.

I will get involved with my children at school.

I will be physically active with my children 3 times per week.

You see where this is heading? Promote health and being physically active with your children. Be a “doer” not a “talker”. Have a plan of action on how to accomplish your goals and it will go much smoother.

I have also been considering getting a Wii for myself and Madalyn. I hear that the sports games that come with it are pretty cool and there are games for children of all ages. The price has sure come down on them and when the weather gets colder it is neat to have fun things to do inside that help get physically active. I have seen the Wii on Amazon
for $199.

Asking God for the Small Stuff

2009-12-02T09:29:00.000-08:00

Throughout my day I find that I have no shortage of requests for God and to ask Him for what seems to be insignificant things I consider to be a “no-no”.

Recently Madalyn or me, misplaced a couple “my little ponies” and we spent a lot of time looking for them. We even decided to clean the house as we looked for them. Yes, the couch under the cushions got vacuumed, the floor underneath the couch was got scrubbed, no stone was being left unturned, so I thought.

Nevertheless we were unable to locate her little ponies. She even called from her mom’s to inquire about my progress throughout the week. “Still nothing honey”, I reported.

So during the week I went to church and one of the assistant pastors was telling a story to the congregation about losing his name tag the day before and stressing about it. Yes, I said a name tag but don’t hold it against him he is a great guy. Anyhow he mentioned how he prayed to God for help finding it and in fact he did find it, the where I am not going to tell you because it is a bit grouse.

This ended up being another one of those “aha” moments for me. The minute I got home I asked God to help me find these little ponies for my girl and AMAZINGLY I went straight to them. I was astonished, not that God could do it but that He did do it.

At times I guess I put God into this box that He is too busy to help with the small things but I think really what this teaches is that I need to rely on God and trust Him for EVERYTHING. The bible says to pray without ceasing and God isn’t going to be offended because I asked for help to find something that ended up taking up much of my time and when found made my little girl very happy. Now has she played with them since their discovery… “NO!” But I take it that she is like her dad a bit that when something is missing it needs to be found whether we are going to use it or not.

Trust God for all things; small, medium, and large.

If you have a story to share I would love to hear it!

Drama-Drama-Drama

2009-11-30T08:38:00.000-08:00

My life is much like a “Soap Opera”, as my mother would say. Personally I would prefer a life with less drama but I guess I go through what I do because of choices I have made in the past. I have learned that in the face of adversity and chaos that there is more to look forward to later in life, the day of peace will come.

Without going into too much detail… I had another one of those weekends with my ex-wife. She shows up at 11pm with Madalyn and her new husband (without warning). It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and I felt a complete rush of adrenalin. Thoughts included:

1. What the hell are you doing here?
2. You have a husband?
3. Why me?

Of course it is always a pleasure to see the kid so I hugged the stuffing out of her. I figured she probably was a bit confused so I spent some time loving on her before addressing the ex.

My late night visitors sit and I (and the new husband) begin to be lectured about how poorly we treat her, mind you I have not had a conversation with this woman for months. It only took about 15 seconds before I stopped her and dismissed her with “get over it, look in the mirror and stop blaming your life’s problems on everyone else.”

It was effective, however she left her husband standing in my home. Note to self: when dismissing ex from home make sure the new husband is in the car before hand.

Here is the advice to all you that are single and thinking about getting married. Marrying the wrong person can affect your sanity and divorce doesn’t sever the ties, especially if there are children involved. Don’t ignore the “red flags” especially the major ones.

For Google

2009-11-28T14:40:00.000-08:00

Google please visit often http://www.publicdomain-pictures.com

God vs the World

2009-11-27T08:45:00.000-08:00

Every so often it is important to take an inventory of how and who we are living our lives for. It is very easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of this world and get side tracked from our true calling.

Here are 5 points (questions) that help me to refocus and sometimes point out the ugly reality of my life, that I have a foot on both sides of the fence.

1. How should I be living? I should be living a life responding to God. Is that what I am doing?
2. What is my goal in life? To know Jesus and have a loving and intimate relationship with Him.
3. What am I doing to achieve questions 1 & 2? Knowing the answers is not enough. I need to have a plan to achieve my goal of living a life for God.
4. What am I running towards? Often times I find myself running towards the things of this world rather than Jesus.
5. What desires of my flesh are holding me back? For me this often comes to sex and money. Yep I am putting that out there for everyone to see. The last time I checked I was still an imperfect human and I can honestly say that the things that tend to hold me back are these desires.

For the past week I have been looking at ways to get both feet back on the side for God. I have been trying to “fast” not from food but from the world. I have spent very little time on the computer trying to make an extra buck. Instead I have given more of that time over to being content with what I have. Taking time to read and relax. Another area of my life that has helped to follow God is to get in the giving mode. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing anymore. I can give of my time, money, and resources. I look around my home and see so many things I wasted money on. Five, Ten, or Fifteen dollars here and there can go a long way in helping people when the right people get it. So I have been stepping out and giving a little at a time and it feels good.

Sometimes I realize that I am holding on way to tight to things and instead of feeling more secure I feel depressed and anxious. Is it the things that we hold on to the tightest that are keeping us from God? I think in my case that may be…

Thoughts on the Street Beggar

2009-11-23T08:41:00.000-08:00

In a nutshell I am curious how others deal with the homeless begging on the corner of every shopping center in town. I understand times are tough and many are trying to make it for their families but how do you tell the difference between the professional street beggar and the one that is there out of circumstance.

I hate giving money to someone and having to worry they are just going to run out and buy smokes or booze. Boise, Idaho is such that there are many shelters and organizations that feed and provide shelter for the homeless so I struggle with handing money out my window to a stranger. I would much rather donate it to the local food bank or shelter to make the most of it. Plus handing money out the window seems so impulsive and to me that isn’t how we are supposed to be with our finances. I don’t know…

Any thoughts because I feel a bit callous about this whole thing.

God’s Recipe for Managing Anxiety

2009-11-19T12:45:00.000-08:00

With life comes anxiety, even more so if you have children. It is easy to be consumed with worry and anxiousness. For me I don’t realize just how much anxiety I have until I lay down to go to sleep. It doesn’t take long for the thoughts and emotions to come rushing out preventing me from getting my beauty sleep which in turn causes more anxiety. It has taken me a long time to learn how to deal with anxiety and there is a simple formula.

1. Admit to being anxious
2. Know the Lord is near
3. Don’t be anxious about anything
4. Prayer and petition
5. Thanksgiving
6. Peace of God will guard you heart and mind

So now you are probably wondering “Jason what the heck are you talking about?” The point is this… We need to come to a place in our lives where we can see the anxiety and worry, not just living our lives on auto pilot. We need to be “confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 1:6)

When we admit that we are anxious we are directing our attention towards it to fix things. We need to remember that God is with us and that He tells us not to be anxious about anything for tomorrow will worry about itself. Through prayer; thanksgiving and petitions we give it over to God and He will guard our hearts and minds.

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” These are the types of things we should be thinking on.

I apply this to my life by laying in bed and relaxing, praying and thanking God for what He has and is doing for me. If my mind acts up again, I offer up additional thanksgivings. Sometimes I have to open the bible and read a bit but usually the anxious worrisome thoughts that are keeping me up subside.

Additional information on managing severe anxiety

Help Connecting with God

2009-11-09T14:06:00.000-08:00

Tips for Making Time with God

1. Making going to church a priority! Many churches have several service times and some on Saturday nights. The also provide childcare. If going to church isn't an option at this point and time try watching a sermon on TV from a local church. You can also find sermons online but don't surf the Internet at the same time. Treat it as if you are really there with bible in hand.

2. Find a small group, bible study, to attend during the week! I go every other week on a day I don't have Madalyn. I look for groups that are close to where I live so it doesn't take long to get home afterward... I need my sleep.

3. Find time to read your bible! My daughter tends to be high maintenance so at times I feel I'm not able to read my bible or do many other things that need done. You would be surprised at the opportunities you may be passing up, I was. Trust me, I know there is always something that needs to get done but when you are nourishing the Spirit when you do get to those "to dos" they just go that much quicker and easier.

a) Make time in the morning, before the kids get up. I don't do this because I am not a good morning person, I wish I was but I like to hit the snooze way to much.

b) Chances are the kids are going to want to watch their favorite show or cartoon for a little bit when you get home. Instead of watching it with them or jumping into the chores spend the next 15 minutes or so of reading.

c) Read a chapter out loud to the kids at the dinner table while eating.

d) Take your bible to work and read on your break or lunch hour.

e) Buy an Apple iPod or MP3 Player, download sermons and listen to them while at work or the gym.

f) If your commute is long enough plan on listening to a NIV Audio Bible, to and from work. Get some good bible studies on CD.

g) Sing a worship song while making dinner... the kids might even join in.

h) Pray to God throughout the day with whatever comes to mind.

These are but a few tips... I am sure there are lots more. The point is to make God a priority every day. Now that I said that I would also like to add don't beat yourself up if you aren't perfect. We are saved by Grace not works.

God’s Recipe for Managing Anxiety

With life comes anxiety, even more so if you have children. It is easy to be consumed with worry and anxiousness. For me I don’t realize just how much anxiety I have until I lay down to go to sleep. It doesn’t take long for the thoughts and emotions to come rushing out preventing me from getting my beauty sleep which in turn causes more anxiety. It has taken me a long time to learn how to deal with anxiety and there is a simple formula.

1. Admit to being anxious
2. Know the Lord is near
3. Don’t be anxious about anything
4. Prayer and petition
5. Thanksgiving
6. Peace of God will guard you heart and mind

So now you are probably wondering “Jason what the heck are you talking about?” The point is this… We need to come to a place in our lives where we can see the anxiety and worry, not just living our lives on auto pilot. We need to be “confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 1:6)

When we admit that we are anxious we are directing our attention towards it to fix things. We need to remember that God is with us and that He tells us not to be anxious about anything for tomorrow will worry about itself. Through prayer; thanksgiving and petitions we give it over to God and He will guard our hearts and minds.

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” These are the types of things we should be thinking on.

I apply this to my life by laying in bed and relaxing, praying and thanking God for what He has and is doing for me. If my mind acts up again, I offer up additional thanksgivings. Sometimes I have to open the bible and read a bit but usually the anxious worrisome thoughts that are keeping me up subside.

First, Be A Man

2009-11-17T11:45:00.000-08:00

For me it is a rare thing to read books published in the early 1900's but I think I have stumbled across an author that I like... Orison Swett Marden. He is straight forward and I could see how to some he may be too honestly brutal.

Wanted, a man who will not lose his individuality in a crowd,k a man who has the courage of his convictions, who is not afraid to say "No," though all the world say "Yes."

Wanted, a man who, though he is dominated by a mighty purpose, will not permit one great faculty to dwarf, cripple, warp, or mutilate his manhood; who will not allow the over-development of one faculty to stunt or paralyze his other faculties.

Wanted, a man who is larger than his calling, who considers it a low estimate of his occupation to value it merely as a means of getting a living. Wanted, a man who sees self-development, education and culture, discipline and drill, character and manhood, in his occupation.

Kind of poetic isn't it and from a godly perspective it makes some sense. God is always calling us to be more. To have his character, to be on fire for him and the kingdom.

The great need at this hour is manly men. We want no goody-goody piety, we have too much of it. We want men who will do right, though the heavens fall, who believe in God, and who will confess Him. -- REV. W.J. Dawson

Rags to Riches

2009-11-13T06:56:00.000-08:00

There are many ways to success and many degrees. Much of it depends on the person and what God has called them to do. Beecher said, "Do the best you can where you are; and, when that is accomplished, God will open a door for you, and a voice will call, "Come up hither into a higher sphere."

Do not think just because you don't have money or capital to begin with you wont' be successful. Most of the rich men of the years began poor. The chances are you would be ruined if you had money. You can only use to advantage what has become a part of yourself by you earning it. It is estimated that not one rich man's son in 10,000 dies rich. God has given every man a capital to start with; we are born rich. He is rich who has good health, a sound boyd, good muscles; he is rich who has a good head, a good disposition, a good heart; he is rich who has two good hands, with five chances on each.

Equipped?

Every man is equipped as only God could equip him. What a fortune he possesses in the marvelous mechanism of his body and mind. It is individual effort that has accomplished everything worth accomplishing in this world. Money to start with is only a crutch, which, if any misfortune knocks it from under you, would only make your fall all the more certain.

Selecting the Right Fruits and Vegetables

2009-11-10T08:33:00.000-08:00

As a single dad I have realized that grocery shopping can have its challenges. With all the different selections these days and the long list of ingredients that I can’t pronounce I have cut way back on packaged foods and am buying fresh types of food products. While I am on the subject of shopping I do need to ask one quick question. I seem to have this perception that women are born with the ability to pick good fruit and vegetables. Is this true and should I stop watching them to see how they do it??

In the likelihood that I never get an answer to this question or it stirs up debate for years I have come across certain top secret information for men on how to pick the right foods to eat.

I have learned that buying more than a weeks worth of produce only leads to waste and if I plan my consumption ahead of time I tend only buy what I can eat. I also have to put my vegetables out where I can see them because I forget, at times, that I bought a particular one to munch on during a weekend day until it is too late. So when the weekend is coming I like to put the cucumber or whatever I bought that I don’t usually cook with on the shelf so I can see it. That way when the time comes on Saturday I can chop it up, put it in a bowl, set it on the coffee table, and munch on it throughout the day. A quick not about cucumbers is to look for ones that are bright and even colored. It should look fresh. A cucumber should be firm on both ends and throughout and smaller cucumbers tend to have a larger flesh to seed ratio. If you are going to eat the whole cucumber or seed it you are better off getting a smaller cucumber.

Okay I know you don’t really care about my eating habits so lets look at how to select produce at the store. For starters you want to look at the color, firmness, and crispness of the produce. This tends to occur when the produce is in season. It seems that over the years fruit and vegetables have lost their flavor. So I try to pay even more attention to picking the right produce. If it is bruised or wilted then steer away from it. It isn’t going to last much longer and may not taste very good. Yes, I learned this the hard way.

Each fruit and vegetable has its uniqueness about it and may require a bit more investigation… For example, when buying watermelons you want to look for a rough yellow patch on it. If it doesn’t have one it may mean that it was picked too early. I am a huge grape fan and I hate getting a bad batch but if you pick grapes that are firm, smooth, and still attached to the vine it increases your chances of getting good grapes.

I know this isn’t an all conclusive list but there is tons of information out there about buying fruits and vegetables. Each one has its own little quirks. Happy shopping.

How to Pick up an Upset Child from Moms (or Dads)

2009-11-05T18:47:00.000-08:00

Another year has passed and you would think getting through the holidays would just get that much easier. Unfortunately it isn’t always like that. Every where you turn families are preparing the way for a grand celebration. Even with the fun at hand there seems to be a bit of tension and stress around holiday season. For me it is the shuttling of Madalyn between mom and dads’ house that really gets to me.

Sometimes it is really hard because I would show up to the door to pick her up and she would kick and scream all the way to the car and home. Of course she was just having too much fun to leave. There is much to this co-parenting thing and if you have a good relationship with your ex then it makes things a lot easier. Unfortunately I don’t have that luxury at this point however, I have not let it stop me from doing the best I can.

1. Getting beyond the kicking and screaming – I have learned that children don’t like surprises. I am not talking about surprising them with a trip to Dairy Queen I am talking about a sudden change in activity. The sooner I can help prepare Madalyn for the change the better things have gone. For example; when I know that I will be picking her up or her mom is going to pick her up I prepare her a few days in advance and remind her until that time comes, “Daddy is picking you up tomorrow at four so be ready.” I also reinforce that throwing a fit is not okay. Since I have been doing this she listens really well and understands. Sometimes she is sad and says so and I completely understand but it passes and she soon finds her happy place again.

2. Be prepared for the worst – no parent likes to have to haul their kid to the car kicking and screaming but the sad truth is it happens. When I am prepared for the possibility I am able to react in a healthy way. There were times that I would snap at Madalyn and would always regret it later. Preparing for the worst has 2 parts; 1) I mentally prepare for it and remind myself that it is not personal – she is only four. 2) I prepare for her by bringing a nice little snack and her favorite stuffed Dora. It is hard for her to keep crying when she is popping jelly beans in her mouth and Dora is trying to tickle her.

3. Have an agenda – so what now… I am going over to daddy’s house to do what? I like to have a plan in motion whether we are going to stop by a family members for dinner, play some Chutes and Ladders, head off to the park, or maybe I have a special movie in mind. By sharing with Madalyn what I have in mind helps put her at ease. As she thinks about it she becomes less stressed about leaving her mom’s.

This has worked for me in the past and it can be used for other situations but I have found that the holidays are particularly more difficult and stressful for all involved.

Cooking and Healthy Eating Tips and Recipes

2009-11-08T19:59:00.000-08:00

Even though there is no shortage of resources on the internet or every where else for that matter about cooking I have decided since I really like to cook I am going to start a new section on healthy cooking and eating. Of course the healthy part may be up for debate however eventually I will have many fun and tasty recipes that I have enjoyed with my little girl. Yes, these have been child approved.

Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup with Biscuits

Chicken Soup Ingredients

1 49.5oz can of chicken broth
2 cups chopped carrots
2 cups chopped celery
1 small chopped onion
2 6oz cooked and chopped chicken breast
2 cups egg noodles

Biscuit Ingredients

1 cup flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder (yes that is one and a half teaspoons, not one half)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons olive oil

While the chicken is cooking chop and combine all the ingredients except for the egg noodles into a 5.5 quart sauce pan (or whatever pan you have that is big enough). Once the chicken is done, chop it up and add it to the pot. Bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer for about 15 minutes. During this time prepare your biscuits (continued below). After the 15 minutes add your 2 cups of egg noodles and cook for about another 10 minutes.

Making the biscuits...
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees (on bake). Mix the dry ingredients in a medium sized bowl then add the oil and milk, mix well. The dough may be a bit sticky but that is okay. Portion the dough out into a mini muffin pan, if you don't have one use a cookie sheet but try to make 10 to 12 muffins. Bake them for 10 or so minutes until they start turning brown. Serve with the soup.

Makes about 4 to 5 servings

Tips: I like to buy ready to cook and quick frozen chicken. All you have to do is throw it in the pan and cook. Feel free to get creative by adding other vegetables you and your kids like. In my opinion Tabasco never hurts anything just don't forget to dish up the kids' first. Top off your biscuits with a little dill weed for a different flavor or paprika for color (do this before baking).

It All Starts with a Desire

2009-11-03T14:17:00.000-08:00

I’ve noticed that at times I am an all or nothing kind of guy. If I can’t feed the world then why bother helping out at all or if I can’t care for a large group of people then why care at all. Sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it? Even a bit stupid. However I find myself in the frame of mind that more is better and if I can’t give everything in a perfect way then why give at all. I am learning that giving in small portions is okay and that God isn’t measuring what I am giving but the heart of giving.

I recently helped with a food pantry and the only shortage was food. As I saw all these families coming through and the shelves emptying all I could think about is what I would do if I were rich. Well of course I would fill the shelves with food. But obviously I am not rich so what is the point, I will keep on doing what I am doing which is literally nothing…. Back to the all or nothing concept.

So finally the church put out a call for food and I thought it was about time I stepped up to the plate. All they asked for was a commitment for each family to bring 1 can of food weekly. ONE CAN! Gee I can do that but will it really help? After seeing the stock pile last week it sure looks like it is going to make a difference and I started with a desire to help but was held back by limiting beliefs. By acting on the desire to give I have been able to feel better about serving God in small significant ways.

I am learning that if I don’t follow the desires that God is placing in my heart with the resources I have been blessed with then I am limiting the quality of my life. If I am not going to step up to the plate then God will find someone else to fill the gap.

Jonah 33 Faith Like That

2009-10-31T14:04:00.000-07:00

Revisiting the Past

2009-10-30T09:34:00.000-07:00

Are you guilty of constantly revisiting the past? I know I can have my moments where revisiting the past becomes an issue. I mean it is okay to remember and learn from past mistakes but is it our mistakes that define us or what we learn from them. I hope because of some of the mistakes that I have made that I have become a better person, however when I revisit only to condemn myself or put myself in a negative light I am hurting myself. I don’t have to keep revisiting the shame of my past because God’s grace, His sacrifice on the cross, has freed me from this.

Why is it that the Creator of all things can forgive me yet I can’t forgive myself? Forgiveness equals Freedom! I long for this freedom and the peace and joy that comes with it. When I don’t forgive myself I will revisit the shame of my past and I will continue to live in bondage preventing God to fully utilize me.

When we learn from our mistakes, which we all make, and we set our eyes on the future rather than the past we can discover who we are meant to be and actually make a difference. By doing what God has called us to do we can affect change in the people around us and the world. Granted we may not always be around to see it but nevertheless it is happening.

God help me to stop looking at my past, help me to see me as you see me and use me for your purpose. May I not seek the things of the world but the things that will bring you glory and joy. May I do your will for the good of the kingdom. Please bring people in my life to help during this journey, ones that will mentor to me and ones that I can mentor too. We are a new creation in you God! Thank you for your loving grace and all the good you have brought out of a life filled with mistakes and shame.

Amen

Here is another prayer that a pastor friend of mine found. It seems to be popular on the internet however, I have never seen it.

May God bless us with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that we may live deep within our hearts.

May God bless us with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that we may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless us with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that we may reach out our hands to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless us with enough foolishness to believe that we can make a difference in this world, so that we can do what others claim cannot be done.

Franciscan Benediction

I Love Fall

2009-10-26T16:48:00.001-07:00

Really not much to mention here except the fact that I love fall but this year has been crazy. So far it seems we are going from summer to luke warm back to summer. Somehow the trees know that fall is here but I just don't feel it. We are going from a beautiful week where playing outside was a must to it could snow down here in Boise Idaho. Snow is winter and I don't think I am quite ready for that. Especially since I have not gotten the sprinklers blown out yet. Thank God for all wonderful seasons.

The People God Puts in Our Lives

2009-10-25T09:01:00.000-07:00

Over the years people have come in and out of my life and at times I wonder where they went… Did I do something to drive them away, did they get bored with me or could it be that the task they were sent to do has been completed and it was time for them to move on?

I have learned that God looks at the big picture when I am incapable of even fathoming the big picture. Even though God did not plan for my marriage to fail He foresaw it and planned for it. Ultimately I was supposed to learn something and become more Christ-like from the experience. Maybe I was supposed to learn something about other people, maybe something about me, or both. I am leaning towards both, I hope that God will use what I have gone through to help others, that is if I allow it. Sometimes I really need to put myself out there and I am not good at stepping outside of my comfort zone. But I have noticed that God is bringing people to me that are in a lot of pain and instead of me helping them they seem to be helping me. Their faith, hope, and outlook on life is encouraging. A blessing that makes me smile from ear to ear. God is using people all around the world to touch one another, help one another, mold us, teach us, comfort us, etc. At times things seem beyond hope until you look back a year later and see the tremendous progress you made and the people’s lives that have touched you and vice versa.

We all don’t have a Billy Graham or Chuck Smith ministry that touches millions but we do have a ministry that is just as important. The way we live our lives is our ministry, the people we interact with on a daily basis, how we treat our family… These are all important ministries. I know I have far to go obviously being divorced I have failed at my first marriage but I have learned tremendously! I have learned what love truly is and am eager to give all that I can. I have been blessed with a wonderful little girl that has completely melted my heart. I have learned compassion for the parent in the grocery store whose child is throwing fit.

A child can give great lessons on patience, compassion, love, long suffering - the fruits of the Spirit!

The point is we are all working for a greater good and God is using us whether we know it or not. As Christians we can rest assured that God is completing the good work that He started in us. Even when things seem to be falling apart… Maybe those are the times we learn the best.

Putting Others First - Again

2009-10-18T18:50:00.000-07:00

I am amazed at how powerful some of the letters in the bible are. Right now at church we are going through Philipians and we aren't halfway through and I have been touched every sermon. I am no stranger to being self-centered and since Madalyn has been in my life I have been able to understand what it means to put others first, to take care of their needs before my own. I know it is easy to want to take care of family needs but I have seen this overflowing to other parts of my life. I know I am always going to be a work in progress and I want to teach Madalyn how good it feels to help others. God is really taking this time to touch my heart. Isn't it weird how you can learn new things each time you read a book in the bible, even if it is for the 50th time? God is good!

On the Look Out for Germs

2009-10-15T11:56:00.000-07:00

I don’t know how things are going where you folks live but here in Boise it seems that when anyone sneezes they run off to the hospital freaking out about having the swine flu. Granted some might but all they are doing is exposing everyone else that is around them. I think on one recent weekend we had over 200 people hit the emergency room clogging it up creating a huge mess. Its still the flu so really what can the doctor do about it? I agree we need to be careful but we don’t need to over react and live in fear. As for me and Madalyn I just try and use common sense and make sure we both are washing our hands and using sanitizer.

The point of this post pertains to an article I recently read about “Where Germs Hide.” I thought it was pretty interesting and makes complete sense. So where do germs hide?

1. Grocery Store – shopping carts and seat buckets are the worst but you also have to look out for the conveyer belt at check out.
2. The Playground – face it kids are messing and carry germs. The playground is a place where they can freely trade germs.
3. Public Restrooms – you would think that it is the toilet that has the most germs but guess what it is the sink.
4. At the Office – this one is pretty easy, the places where the germs are is the phone and desk. Here is a shocker, studies show that the desk has 400 times more germs than the toilet seat.
5. Restaurants – the biggest offenders here is the table top and high chairs.
6. Library – counter tops and hand rails.
7. Malls – watch out for the escalator handles, GERMS!

So basically it is obvious we are all going to die from germs. I wonder how we survived this long. Thank goodness for hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes.

Changes

2009-10-13T19:17:00.001-07:00

What’s with all the Questions

2009-10-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

You know I used to laugh at folks when their kids were always asking questions and I really never gave it much thought… that is until recently. OMG!!! Will it ever stop? :-) I am trying my best to answer the whys and the why to the answer and the why to that but I don’t think I can handle too much more. As I sit here and write this I am cracking myself up but last night I wanted to pull my hair out. I know it is part of growing up but I do hope I survive because I sure feel stupid for not being able to answer the elusive WHY.