Gone Swimming


Today was the first day I took Madalyn swimming. I was very nervous for some reason, I guess I did not know how she would react. I find that she is becoming fearful of things she used not to be; water, bugs, etc...I care about her and worry so much and I try to make sure that I lend all the support I can so she doesn't fear so much. I don't know if this is just a phase but I am new at this parenting thing and I never thought I would be doing it alone.

Back to the swimming...It went pretty darn good. Of course I forgot to brings toys, I thought daddy would be enough but I wasn't. She was more concerned about me "getting her". Must of happened once in the past or something :-) I enjoy every minute with that kid. Next time I will bring the toys!

Anyhow, as I sit here and contemplate I realize that I have a lot of fears of my own. When did I ever think in the past that taking my daughter swimming would make me nervous? I am fearful that she won't have fun with me like she does with her mom and half sisters. I don't always think that I have much too offer, except for love and stability but she can't understand that, can she?? For me being with Madalyn is a privelage and blessing and I hate the fact that I only get that 50% of the time.