Last night I attended a church meeting hoping to make some connections. Since my divorce a couple years ago I have struggled with making new contacts and friends. I have noticed that my patience for people has even diminished causing me to isolate myself more than normal. I guess I have lost confidence in others because of the divorce. To be honest I really didn’t pay much thought to it but recently I have begun to examine myself to see if I can figure out what is going on. The meeting was good but unfortunately the group was not what I was looking for. I was surrounded by people in their 20’s and/or families in their 30’s. As a single parent I really feel left out, even more so as a single dad. There seems to be a class or a group for single women but rarely for single dads. I would love a class like that! As a man living single is very hard. I really want to do what is right but I struggle with desires and female companionship. I often pray to God to help me be happy with where I am ...
I spent three years of my life with my wife not nurturing or building friendships and now as I sit here, in this coffee shop, I notice that I am alone and meeting people is not one of my strengths. I have no idea what I am going to do to meet women...I have thought about playing a clutz and trying to get some sympathy dates but I don't know if that is me. I do have a cute little girl but that hasn't helped when in public, she must be to well behaved. :-) For me it is hard to get out in public, especially alone. So sitting here in this coffee shop is a great plus for me. I need to get outside my comfort zone and take some chances, I know forsure that I won't meet anyone cooped up at home watching a movie. this is good for me even though most of the people around me are 10 to 15 years younger than I. I must really have guts...
I did something yesterday that I never thought I would do... I called my ex to come get our little girl early, I even gave up the rest of my weekend. It was the hardest thing for me to do. I feel like a complete scum bag. I have always thought I was the stable one, the one that would always be there for Madalyn but for some reason yesterday I just couldn't handle it. All Madalyn wanted was to be with her mom. She knew her mom was coming to get her for the holiday, so she would sit at the window and watch or constantly check the clock. This is after she just spent 4 days with her mom. I struggle with this all the time . I feel that the time I spend with Madalyn is good and I know she loves me so why do I get upset when she just wants to be with her mom? I know! Because I am selfish and immature. Here is how it was explained to me: 98% of little girls are more attached to their mothers! Period! I have been able to handle the divorce and all that went on but for some reason I can'...
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