To Spank or Not to Spank?


Here is a new one for me but I imagine that almost every parent has had to deal with at some point. The TEMPER TANTRUM… I have seen Madalyn throw her fits but last night was one I never have seen before. I considered spanking her little butt. I mean she went from room to room throwing herself down on the ground screaming. This went on for 20 minutes. I know first you are thinking “Jason how could you let this go on for so long?”

She just would not stop or listen to me. It brought back memories of me as a child. I fear the worst. She is going to be stubborn like her daddy. After last night I realized that I may not be in control and she is testing me. With all the controversy on spanking I was not sure what to do. I don’t want to hurt her but the bible says “…spare the rod, spoil the child.” Actually the bible has a lot to say on the subject "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell."

Now I know the term above “beat” does not mean to beat her but I don’t want to get in trouble as well. So I did some research and this is what I have come up with as my solution and as always I like feedback…

"While spanking is not illegal, bruising or otherwise injuring a child is. But what about mild spanking as a corrective measure? Is it a good idea? Spanking works best when coupled with other disciplinary measures, such as "time out." Research regarding behavior modification of children ages 2 to 6 found that spanking a child two times on either the rear or thigh helped improve compliance with "time out" for misbehavior. These children were more likely to remain in their room after acting up if a potential spank followed if they left before the time was up. Furthermore, pairing reasoning with a spanking in the toddler years delayed misbehavior longer than did either reasoning or spanking alone. Reasoning linked with a spank was also more effective compared with other discipline methods. Talking with the child about what behavior is expected and why-with the potential of a follow-up spank-worked best.

According to Physician magazine, spanking should be used selectively for clear, deliberate misbehavior, especially a child's persistent defiance of a parent. It should be used only when the child receives at least as much praise for good behavior as correction for problem behavior. Verbal correction, time out and logical consequences should be used initially, followed by spanking when noncompliance persists. Only a parent should administer a spanking, not another person. Spanking should never be administered on impulse or when a parent is out of control. Parents sometimes need a time out too. Spanking is inappropriate before 15 months of age, should be less necessary after 6 years, and rarely, if ever, used after 10 years of age. Spanking should always be administered in private. Appropriate spanking only leaves temporary redness of skin, and never bruises or injures. Spanking works, but must be used thoughtfully and carefully in conjunction with other disciplinary measures. "



Courtney said...

I found you through blogrush. I like this post and firmly believe in spanking. We do not do it often because we do a rewards system and remind them of it when misbehavior starts. I found this to be a great read. Thanks for posting it.

Jason said...

Courtney, thanks for taking the time to comment. BTW I visited your blog and I think your "sticker board" is a great idea.

Anonymous said...

At our house, we use a combination of things, and spanking is only for very big offenses. In the case of the temper tantrum, what I do is send my little one to her room and tell her that when she is done and is ready to come out and use acceptable behavior, she can come out. Sometimes she stays in there and screams for awhile, sometimes she gets done and comes out to apologize and behaves better afterward. Kids have stress and anger and don't know how to process it, so they need to let of some steam every once in awhile. As she gets older, you can start teaching her some stress and anger management techniques.
Hope this helps.