Regrets

on

Today at work has been one of those days where I find myself daydreaming of days long passed. I spent a good portion of my younger years waiting tables for a living. There was a time when I lived in southern California doing just that. I remember the friends I made and how we hung out. My life has never been that interesting since but of course if I were to really look at it my lifestyle back then was not very healthy. Yet, it wasn’t all-bad either. I remember a friend, her name was Kristen Fox and she was a good friend to me. Heck I think of her every now and then wondering what became of her. It has been many many years since I have even talked to her and others that were important to me.

But now when I look back I miss some of the relationships I had. All are gone because I didn’t take the time to try and keep in touch. It was so much easier to make friends back then. As I push 40 it is so hard to meet people and make new friends. I have thought about waiting tables again but the people there will be half my age. I guess the point I am trying to make is if you have relationships in your life that are healthy and important you should try to maintain them. Don’t be like me and wake up one day wishing you had done it differently when maybe all it would of taken is a letter here and there. There are times you don’t know what you have had until it is gone.

Maybe I should turn off the 90’s music and get back to work!!! :-)

Yet life is still pretty good... it has its ups and downs and the only way to learn is to look at the mistakes we've made and introduce change.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jason,
I went through the same thing....I had tons of fantastic friends and then when I was with Grace's dad, I wasn't allowed to talk to or spend time with my friends (that often happens in an abusive relationship.) Anyway...I lost contact with my friends for several years...then I found out about facebook.com.....it's so nice because I find friends that I grew up with, went to college with, and people I've lost contact with. It's helped me feel a lot more connected to my friends because you post pictures, write "notes" that are like blog entries, and update your status to let your friends know what you're doing that day.....it's pretty neat. Maybe you could find some of your old friends on there.

Jason said...

I have seen that website when I search for people. I will set some time next week to check it out more in depth.

Anonymous said...

Jason,
Has the Lord released you from your marriage? Has he told you its over? The divorce is final. Is the relationship over. Is the Lord preparing you to reconcile with your wife? This is her wilderness experience. The Lord may be preparing her to come back to you. Its obvious she hasn't replaced you.

Jason said...

Anonymous,

Yes, I do feel the Lord has released me from the marriage. I think it is I who is standing in the way. My ex-wife has had several relationships in the past 2 years and still continues to move our daughter from house to house. This angers me greatly and I have no desire to be with her nor reconcile. In my mind she has become one with each and every man she is with making any chance of her and I being together impossible.

Anonymous said...

I was the anonymous asking if your released. I heard what you want. I didn't hear that you prayed about what God wants. I see that you still have anger towards her. Read 1 John the entire book. Pray that the Lord gives you direction. Just an observation. Your still hanging on to some things. This is the best time in the world to let God take your old life from you. Give you a new one.

Jason said...

Hi David, welcome back. Yes, there are times I get angry. Most of the time it revovles around our little girl and with the holidays coming up I don't like to be apart from her even more. Each time I start feeling this I have to remember that I need to turn her over to God along with my feelings. I never understood what having child could do to a person but now I do and it has made me an emotional wreck at times.

As for me wanting and/or God wanting me to reconcile with my ex I guess I will die a lonely man if he wants me to take her back because I won't. I am sure it isn't my first mistake and definately won't be my last. That is if that is the case.