Getting all the Breaks
Have you ever noticed that some people seem to catch a lot of breaks while others seem to always get passed by? Not that I have a hard life or am lacking but I have noticed that there are a few things I am constantly striving for that shouldn't be out of reach for some reason they continually slip through my fingers.
For example: There is this young couple that bought tickets to win a home, they WON... several years later they bought a couple more and won again. Here I am trying to pay off debt so I can buy a home and it seems that there is one thing after another that is pushing farther and farther in debt. I am not trying to gripe but I wonder sometimes why some seem to have an easier go at life while others don't. Is it the past choices they made? I know when it comes to a good portion of my life if I would of listened to God and not married the woman I did my life would be much simpler, yet I would not have been blessed with the wonderful little girl that I have. And to be quite honest I may not even have the great job I have now.
I know that God is molding me and each trial should be making me better and stronger, more Christ-like. Maybe I am a slow learner or is it that I like to suffer? Could I be doing much of the things that hurt to myself?
The good part out of all of this is that I seem to be able to trust God more and more. Even with the possibility of losing my daughter to California with her mom I have been able to give it over to God and even begin to view myself as a better person. For some reason I have been condemning myself for past mistakes and started to feel like I wasn't good enough for Madalyn. That I needed to be perfect! Last week our pastor was giving his sermon and he was kidding around a bit and telling a story about how he got a whipping and didn't know why when he was a kid. He didn't realize because he was not paying attention that he almost got ran over. Of course as a parent we can freak a bit and maybe use the wrong method to say, "Thank God you are all right." The point is he said that as parents it is our job to give our children "issues". It dawned on me that no matter how perfect of a father I am I still am going to pass along issues to Madalyn. No matter what she will have them so I need to lighten up a bit and prepare myself for the court battle. And the only way I can do that is to see myself as God does, as the father I truly am.
For example: There is this young couple that bought tickets to win a home, they WON... several years later they bought a couple more and won again. Here I am trying to pay off debt so I can buy a home and it seems that there is one thing after another that is pushing farther and farther in debt. I am not trying to gripe but I wonder sometimes why some seem to have an easier go at life while others don't. Is it the past choices they made? I know when it comes to a good portion of my life if I would of listened to God and not married the woman I did my life would be much simpler, yet I would not have been blessed with the wonderful little girl that I have. And to be quite honest I may not even have the great job I have now.
I know that God is molding me and each trial should be making me better and stronger, more Christ-like. Maybe I am a slow learner or is it that I like to suffer? Could I be doing much of the things that hurt to myself?
The good part out of all of this is that I seem to be able to trust God more and more. Even with the possibility of losing my daughter to California with her mom I have been able to give it over to God and even begin to view myself as a better person. For some reason I have been condemning myself for past mistakes and started to feel like I wasn't good enough for Madalyn. That I needed to be perfect! Last week our pastor was giving his sermon and he was kidding around a bit and telling a story about how he got a whipping and didn't know why when he was a kid. He didn't realize because he was not paying attention that he almost got ran over. Of course as a parent we can freak a bit and maybe use the wrong method to say, "Thank God you are all right." The point is he said that as parents it is our job to give our children "issues". It dawned on me that no matter how perfect of a father I am I still am going to pass along issues to Madalyn. No matter what she will have them so I need to lighten up a bit and prepare myself for the court battle. And the only way I can do that is to see myself as God does, as the father I truly am.
7 comments:
I can understand that way of thinking...but I know that what the Bible says in Jer. 29:11 is true. For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
I have had a very trying month, several actually. Seems every time I turn around things are going wrong. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't thinking straight, I was a mess (still am!). I stumbled upon this song....you might enjoy it as well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKSSLbq4pBQ - Our God reigns here by John Waller
I have not heard from you in a while I was wonder how things are going. I realized along time ago that there are those in life who lack the strength to handle difficulties. It seems things come easy because if they came hard, the people would just collapse. God promised to never give us more than we can handle. I know during my custody issues, many times I challenged God on this topic. The answer I always got was this.
"you are suffering now so you can rejoice later. You are being molded now so I can use you later. You are crying now so you can laugh later."
I think James is correct, when we face various trials we should rejoice, it means God is showing us the confidence He has in us.
Don't be so silent.
Marja, thanks for the link to the song. You're right it is a good one.
Robert,
I seem to be caught up in my mind more and more thinking about what to do and not do. I think my stress levels are through the roof. I catch myself breathing different, I may be having some anxiety attacks. I hope I am learning from all this because I would sure hate to have to continue to go through one trial after another just because I am a slow learner.
Right now I am thinking about how to make some extra money to pay for a lawyer. I know I will get it taken care of. Thank God I am not rich, I wouldn't want anything to actually be easy...
I am just kidding around. I have faith God will see me through this. I am actually sleeping at night so that speaks volumes.
Hello Jason, I was just reading some of your blogs. I too am a single parent but I am the mom of 3. Be strong in your faith, look for the sunshine and happiness and know that God is always with you. You have realized the beauty that God has to offer and you see now that it too can be imperfect. If it was perfect, we would feel even more unworthy so God gives us imperfection. It sounds like you have a very tough road ahead of you and I pray that God will give you custody of your beautiful girl. I can't imagine life without my children even though they stress me to the max! But always remember, He does what he does for a reason and we must be patient and wait for Him to reveal it to us. I have always felt that I am God's puppet and entertain Him greatly. He has a great sense of humor, I just don't understand it! Love is the most important thing in life. Without it, you have nothing. Treasure it, nurture it, and share it.
" Love is the most important thing in life. Without it, you have nothing. Treasure it, nurture it, and share it."
Amen to that!
Thanks and I completely agree.
Geesh, this is a hard one. My only other single momma friend and I are always talking about how it seems 'evil prevails.' It is our spouses who WANTED the divorces, and yet there lives seem to be unburdened and happy, while she and I struggle, yet we are the believers. Just today she sent me some scripture that relates to this. Check it out: Malachi 2:17 & 3:13-15. All in God's time. I will pray for your custody battle. I can't even imagine your fear.
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