Church was pretty good today... Is it only me or do we tend to take things for granted and sometimes forget the real meaning of something? Day after day it seems that I have forgotten about the grace of god. Sure I pray all the time and thank Him for His grace but what does that mean for me? If I was truly accepting grace then why is it I feel the the way I do about others? Shouldn't I be passing along grace to them, giving the same considerations that God has given me? I deserve hell yet God has given me eternal life in heaven - that is grace. I deserve death yet God has given me life - that is grace. I deserve to be imprisoned and yet I am free - that is grace.

Shouldn't I show my ex-wife some grace? I was thinking today that she has had a tough life, granted she blames me for it all even though I only was with her a 4 years but a lot happed during that time. She basically lost both of her parents and the relationship was always taxed. Our time together was very difficult. We were constantly in a struggle to be in control and there was no peace or love.

Okay so maybe things aren't going the way I hoped for Madalyn and maybe I don't approve of what she is being exposed to nor my ex's lifestyle but I have to put my trust in God and give her over to Him AGAIN and AGAIN (as many times as it takes).

May God soften my heart with compassion and love for my ex. May I show her GRACE as God shows me grace on a daily basis.

Why do we (maybe it is just me) complicate matters so? Could it be that happiness, faith, trust, love, compassion, etc. are as easy as stepping out and claiming it. Like a vacant chair just waiting for someone to step out and take a seat. For some reason I don't feel I deserve it so I don't... But then if I did deserve it that wouldn't be grace, would it...


Shannon said...

"Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy." Gee this one hits me hard when it comes to my stbx. He is not a believer, and has done many things to hurt me, and I often struggle with giving him grace. It's good to remember that God has redeemed all of my sin by the blood of Christ. I surely can extend a fraction of that grace to a mere man.

Hey Jason have you heard of Celebrate Recovery? I'm not sure if your local churches offer this program, but it's worth checking into. It has been life-changing for me as I cope with my divorce, personal hang-ups, and learning to rely more of God's grace.

Jason said...

Actually we do have celebrate recovery at the church I attend, every Friday night. Most people I talk to enjoy it. Personally I like to fix myself or on a 1 on 1 basis. I found a long time ago that by talking alot about the things I don't like or other people talking about it makes me want it. Crazy huh!