Parenting as a Christian Single Dad

It is common knowledge that there are two primary motivators in life, pain and pleasure. Looking back on my life I can see how this ties in biblically and why I made the mistakes I did and why I am pursuing the things I am today.

I believe every, sane, person has an aversion to pain but unfortunately we don’t always have enough insight to link our actions to future painful experiences. In Hebrews 11:25 it states, “He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time.” Of course we are more interested in the latter half but when I think about this and apply it towards my life it makes it clear why I got into the predicaments I did. Sin can be pleasurable for a season. I know when I had my first drink all I was thinking about was how much fun I would have. Over time the sin of being a drunk wasn’t fun anymore and I was in a constant state of pain, however the pain of quitting seemed to be even more unbearable. At this point it is living in degrees of pain and trying to avoid the worst but unfortunately it isn’t until we are at our worst we decide to make changes in our lives.

This pain vs pleasure mentality permeates our lives. We do it with drugs, alcohol, food, lying, stealing, spending money, cheating, sex, and other addictions. When in trouble we lie instead of facing the pain of getting in trouble or embarrassment. Instead of working hard for something we charge it on a credit card or steal it. Instead of working on a tough relationship with our spouse we cheat or close ourselves off. I guess the point I am trying to make is that when our lives are painful, miserable, depressing, and lacking we need to examine what we are doing to make it that way. We have control of our lives and whether we live in a state of pain and pleasure. Sometimes our pain thresholds are high and it takes a bit to see and feel but I have noticed that if I live to treat others as I would like to be treated and love God with all my heart then I tend to make fewer decisions that lead to sin and pain. People often blame others for the pain or pleasure in their lives, I know I did this for a spell after my divorce several years ago but that is wrong. We must be accountable for our own lives! It is possible to live healthy productive lives that are full of joy and contentment.

I can see the deception in the pleasure aspects of sin when I look to the future and envision where my life will be years down the road if I were to continue in that sin. I have also learned that I lose to sinful behavior and the more sin I have in my life then the less God I have in my life making things even worse. God’s people are needed in this day and age more than anything and to be effective we need to understand our purpose, we need to be accountable, and we can no longer be the victim. Now is the time to live!