Parenting as a Christian Single Dad

Recent events have put me in a place of confusion. My ex-wife has informed me that she is moving away at the end of the month. Madalyn has 2 days left to spend with her mom until who knows when. She has not attempted to discuss visitation or how she is going to be part of Madalyn's life which really bothers me. Fear is really starting to kick in... How will I cope with my daughter's missing her mom? What should I do? Will I make both a great dad and mom?  When will I have time for adult interaction?  Is it wrong to want to re-marry so Madalyn can have a womanly influence in her life? These questions and many more are running through my head. I am in uncharted territory but then again isn't that is how most of life is.  Prayers are always welcome!

THE NIPPLE My kid is addicted to the nipple, not moms, MINE. It started a few weeks ago with her asking, "daddy can I touch your nipple?" In my ignorance I said sure and asked why, she poked it and that was pretty much that. But it has gotten worse, her requests are more frequent and she is starting to throw fits when I say NO. It is strange because she just wants to put her finder on it. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and find her doing just that. In fact this morning I had to discipline her for it. I told it has to stop. Am I the only one to encounter this kind of weird stuff? Remember I have no other children and am just winging it here....

Raising a child has its challenges but they seem to be very insignificant when compared to the rewards. Yet, as much as I brag about the kid I am continuously reminded about the "teenage" years. But I will deal with that later, obviously. Today, for example; At work 2 factories encountered mechanical difficulties, our Colorado facilities ran out of rail road cars to load customer orders, and one of our contracted warehouses had a bug infestation and it wasn't found out until the customer received their product. Don't worry none made it to the consumer!!! To make matters worse Sales is SELLING and I can't get the product moved. In the midst of this gloom and uncertainty all I can think about is getting off work and going and seeing Madalyn. She is my ray of sunshine at the end of the day even when things are not going well. I hope I never lose that enthusiasm to see her at the end of each day, good or bad.

The difference between fun at the age 3 and lets just say 30 something can be very different. Over the weekend I bought Madalyn a bike helmet and it came with elbow and knee pads, they are pretty much useless because they are to small but Madalyn thinks the knee pads are pretty cool. "Why?" you ask well now she can be like daddy and scrub the floor on her hands and knees like me. She was able to really get a chuckle out of me when her mom came over and she showed her the new knee pads. Mom said, "cool are those so you can ride your bike?" Madalyn looked at her mom, a little puzzled, and said, "No for cleaning the floor." Okay so now mom gives me this weird look and I just said, "somebody has too." I'm sorry but that just busted me up. To Madalyn it was cool to help me wash the floors. I know it won't last but it is cute.

Things have been going exremely well lately. God has answered my prayers and I am spending a considerable more time with Madalyn. It has been a blessing even though I am unable to get things done. I must admit I don't know how you single moms do it. I think I have read somewhere that woman are much better multi-taskers than men. There may be some truth in that... :-)

I think I may be raising a prepared daughter. Not only does she carry her chapstic, comb, and other essentials in her purse but she also carries an extra pair of underwear. What a good little girl. Now I just hope she got them out of her closet and not the dirty clothes. ha-ha. What fun she is, kids can be very amazing or maybe I am easy to amaze. God Bless

I find it fascinating that the harder I try to have a positive mental attitude the worse I am. I have a good job, yet I no longer enjoy it. Going to work seems to take more out of me and when I am there I tend to think on starting my own home business. I really enjoy working at home, reading, and learning but it doesn’t pay the bills. If anything it gets me a pizza a couple times a month. I guess it is simply a hobby at this point. Driving in my car is a hassle, a trip to the grocery store gets me cut off once, an anxious parker almost hits me going into the stall and my fast food order was wrong when I got home. I know things happen and I can roll with the punches like any other but it seems worse lately. To make matter worse I have not been handling the negative in a positive way which in turn makes me feel guilty… Some one please shoot me NOW! Okay just teasing. It is the same in my spiritual life. The more I desire to draw closer to God it seems the farther I get. Someho...

Madalyn is a little “ham” and she is nice to let me take pictures of her. I never used to be much for the picture taking scene but that has sure changed. One of our favorite hangouts is the zoo so I have a lot of pictures of us attending. Well one day I decided to put together a collage of some of my favorite pictures. After manipulating them in my photo software I took the sheet down to Kinkos and had it laminated. It worked out great, now she has an 81/2 by 11 sheet with pictures of her and I and some of her favorite animals. She keeps it at her mom’s house so she can look at it whenever she wants. I even included a string so she can hang it on her wall.

It seems with the roller coaster of life that I often wonder; what if I had done things differently? What if I had never went down some of the paths that I did? Would things of turned out better for me or would I be missing out on something wonderful? To be honest I don’t know how things could have been but what I do know is that I am very blessed. I can sometimes get into a rut where I don’t understand why God would allow certain things to transpire. What I have come to realize is, who am I to question God? He is not punishing me or getting any joy out of seeing me hurt. The same goes when it comes to Madalyn. Sure we may experience hardship and lack understanding at times but I have come to finally realize that there is a greater purpose.

AHH! The weather is starting to warm up, the sun is feeling better and better and I got the itch to get back outside. Winter is nice but it can be limiting when wanting to get outside and have some fun, especially if you are like me and don't care for the cold. I am ready to get back to the park and watch Madalyn run and play, she is a great runner. I am going to get that little munchkin. Hooray to spring..

I don’t think I have ever been as angry as I am now. I hate being powerless when it comes to Madalyn’s well being when she is with her mom. I have just been informed that my daughter will be living with my ex’s current boyfriend, some guy she met in the bar a couple months ago. I just can’t get over that this woman would do this instead of let Madalyn stay with me while she gets back on her feet. But then again she would have to see that Madalyn flourishes and can be happy or that I am a good parent and therefore she thinks she is a bad parent. Maybe I am over reacting but I am disgusted with this decision my ex-wife has made. So what she committed adultery, so what she smacked me around, so what she destroyed any self-esteem I made of had. All of that is nothing compared to this. I have worked long and hard to heal and God has worked miracles in my heart. I have never felt more emotionally sound and happy than I do now and yet I feel cursed because my little princess is bein...

A month ago if someone were to ask me how I was doing I could of answered them, "pretty good." But lately I am not so sure I have grown as much as I hoped. I guess this is more of a relationship issue than a parenting issue but maybe for those that have been through a divorce you can help me a long. I find myself angry and bitter at my ex lately, sure she is doing things that bother me but I am used to it, for the most part I have, or used to have, compassion in my heart for her and I know Madalyn needs her. Since she pretty much given me full custody of Madalyn she has renigged on the arrangement, not that her circumstances have changed but because, I think, she is bitter that Madalyn may be doing okay with her daddy. Ever since I told Madalyn's mom that she was doing really well and adjusting to the new arrangement she has taken Madalyn back and when I call to talk to Madalyn she hangs up on me. I am trying to be civil but I am at the end of my rope. I have grown ...

The past few weeks have been great! Madalyn has been with me most of the time because her mom wants to prepare her for not seeing her as much, because she will be homeless and be bouncing from place to place. I have been trying to provide as much quality time for Madalyn to be with her mom and I thought things were going well. Unfortunately I made the mistake of telling my ex that Madalyn has been doing great. No more crying when I drop her off at daycare, she listens better, she is having more fun, less angry just overall she has been great. I know she misses her mom and I don't discourage that, infact I give her clothes to wear from mom's house and she talks to her on the phone. Well her mom calls this morning as acuses me of taking advantage of the opportunity and trying to keep Madalyn. I thought I was just working with her not against her and of course Madalyn is stuck right in the middle. At the end of this month she will be homeless and barely making enough to pro...

For over a year now I have had 50% custody of Madalyn, actually more than that because my ex would often not be able to do her part. I have patiently waited for the opportunity to take full custody of Madalyn and it looks like that time is here. My ex has informed me that she can no longer provide for her daughter. All of her other children are at their father’s homes and now Madalyn will be at my home for the majority of the time. I have watched my ex make poor decisions since deciding to divorce and pursue the “night life” along with various relationships. She has charged all her credit cards up, quit her job and now is going to have to live in a shelter. I am in shock and overwhelmed with pity for her and my little girl. Looking at my ex I can’t believe I ever felt anything for such a person and now she sinks to new lows. I worry for Madalyn, she goes through one thing after another with this selfish, childish mother of hers. I only hope that I will be able to use this to my ...

I have noticed that the past few times that Madalyn comes back over to my house from her mom’s she is a bit of a stinker. I wonder why because her and I have a good relationship. She is starting to say things like, “I want to be with my mommy, forever.” She does some kicking, screaming, and hitting. Basically she throws a fit. The first part of that statement I understand and I deal with by addressing it with a, “I know and you will see her soon.” But the “forever” part throws me for a loop. I can’t figure where she is coming up with that. I don’t use that word, if rarely because I don’t believe in to many absolutes but anyhow I can’t even think how her mom may be using it. Is this just something that kids pick up? It does not take long for her to warm up to me when she is in one of these moods, all it usually takes is a good tickle and she is happy as can be. There are other verbal things she is doing that seem similar and they usually are a negative towards me. Maybe I am ...

It has been over a year now since the separation and you would think that I could handle things better but still I find myself broken and sad minutes after Madalyn goes to her moms... I know I will see her soon but I have never felt so attached to anything as I do my little girl. :-(

Here’s a funny story that I got a kick out of, again I am amazed by what a 3-year old is capable of… So many times I pick Madalyn up from daycare, I hear of how wonderful she is at helping out and picking up. On occasion I even get to see her putting the toys away, and she does it cheerfully. What a good kid! She is just like her dad, ha-ha. Not to long ago I start to notice when we get home that she just throws her coat and shoes off where ever is convenient, often times I tell her to put them in her room and she obeys, she stands at the door and throws them in. I think, “how cute”. Last weekend to my surprise I walk into her room and it is a disaster zone, I mean everything is everywhere. I tell her that she is going to have to put her toys and stuff away and she looks me in the eye and says, “no daddy.” I tell her yes she is and I remind her how well she puts her toys away at daycare and this is no different. Again I tell her she is going to have to clean up the mess and she...

It wasn’t long ago that I was concerned about Madalyn being potty trained. Well the good news is she is and doing great at it. I still find it exciting when she runs off to use her potty, to her it is a normal habit but for me it is still so darn cute. Then she gets up on her stool and washes her little hands. What a good little girl… She hasn’t wet the bed at night either but how could she because I still put a diaper on her. The diaper is dry in the morning and I am scared to stop using them. Does anyone have any recommendations for me? Is it okay for me to put a diaper on her at night or am I sending her mixed signals? I know this doesn’t sound like a big deal but I am really struggling with taking that next step and getting rid of the diapers all together.

I am sorry to admit but there used to be a time I really did not like kids. I didn’t hate them or anything I just did not like being around them. Even when I became a Christian I was not real fond of them. Well I am glad to say that has all changed. Watching Madalyn grow and experiencing the joy, worry, love etc. that goes with raising a daughter has given me a new heart. I think a lot of my dislike in the past wasn’t really dislike but fear. Children scare me and now that I have one of my own I know that to be true. As a single Christian dad I am often confronted with uncertainty and even confusion but here I am 3 years later completely in love with the second most wonderful gift God has given me. Just a couple nights ago I was talking to Madalyn about praying and I asked if she wanted to go first, she said “yes.” Before I know it she is rambling off everyone in her life and thanking God for them. It was the most precious thing I had ever seen. To know that she is beginning t...

It has been a little over a year know since my wife left home and made me a single dad. I only get Madalyn 50% of the time but I am still her dad all the time in my heart. There was a time I thought I could not make it, even just for a day. But here I a year later and life is okay. Sure I have my days but life is getting better, my relationship with God is growing and my relationship with Madalyn is growing as well. I know it is God who heals all wounds, not time, but it takes take time to be healed and even though I am not completely done healing I am making progress. I have no new year resolution, my mission is the same. To be the best I can be and learn to live in God's grace more and more. God Bless everyone this new year and we wish you the best...