Getting all the Breaks

Have you ever noticed that some people seem to catch a lot of breaks while others seem to always get passed by? Not that I have a hard life or am lacking but I have noticed that there are a few things I am constantly striving for that shouldn't be out of reach for some reason they continually slip through my fingers.

For example: There is this young couple that bought tickets to win a home, they WON... several years later they bought a couple more and won again. Here I am trying to pay off debt so I can buy a home and it seems that there is one thing after another that is pushing farther and farther in debt. I am not trying to gripe but I wonder sometimes why some seem to have an easier go at life while others don't. Is it the past choices they made? I know when it comes to a good portion of my life if I would of listened to God and not married the woman I did my life would be much simpler, yet I would not have been blessed with the wonderful little girl that I have. And to be quite honest I may not even have the great job I have now.

I know that God is molding me and each trial should be making me better and stronger, more Christ-like. Maybe I am a slow learner or is it that I like to suffer? Could I be doing much of the things that hurt to myself?

The good part out of all of this is that I seem to be able to trust God more and more. Even with the possibility of losing my daughter to California with her mom I have been able to give it over to God and even begin to view myself as a better person. For some reason I have been condemning myself for past mistakes and started to feel like I wasn't good enough for Madalyn. That I needed to be perfect! Last week our pastor was giving his sermon and he was kidding around a bit and telling a story about how he got a whipping and didn't know why when he was a kid. He didn't realize because he was not paying attention that he almost got ran over. Of course as a parent we can freak a bit and maybe use the wrong method to say, "Thank God you are all right." The point is he said that as parents it is our job to give our children "issues". It dawned on me that no matter how perfect of a father I am I still am going to pass along issues to Madalyn. No matter what she will have them so I need to lighten up a bit and prepare myself for the court battle. And the only way I can do that is to see myself as God does, as the father I truly am.