Parenting as a Christian Single Dad

My life is much like a “Soap Opera”, as my mother would say. Personally I would prefer a life with less drama but I guess I go through what I do because of choices I have made in the past. I have learned that in the face of adversity and chaos that there is more to look forward to later in life, the day of peace will come. Without going into too much detail… I had another one of those weekends with my ex-wife. She shows up at 11pm with Madalyn and her new husband (without warning). It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and I felt a complete rush of adrenalin. Thoughts included: 1. What the hell are you doing here? 2. You have a husband? 3. Why me? Of course it is always a pleasure to see the kid so I hugged the stuffing out of her. I figured she probably was a bit confused so I spent some time loving on her before addressing the ex. My late night visitors sit and I (and the new husband) begin to be lectured about how poorly we treat her, mind you I have not had a conv...

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Every so often it is important to take an inventory of how and who we are living our lives for. It is very easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of this world and get side tracked from our true calling. Here are 5 points (questions) that help me to refocus and sometimes point out the ugly reality of my life, that I have a foot on both sides of the fence. 1. How should I be living? I should be living a life responding to God. Is that what I am doing? 2. What is my goal in life? To know Jesus and have a loving and intimate relationship with Him. 3. What am I doing to achieve questions 1 & 2? Knowing the answers is not enough. I need to have a plan to achieve my goal of living a life for God. 4. What am I running towards? Often times I find myself running towards the things of this world rather than Jesus. 5. What desires of my flesh are holding me back? For me this often comes to sex and money. Yep I am putting that out there for everyone to see. The last time I chec...

In a nutshell I am curious how others deal with the homeless begging on the corner of every shopping center in town. I understand times are tough and many are trying to make it for their families but how do you tell the difference between the professional street beggar and the one that is there out of circumstance. I hate giving money to someone and having to worry they are just going to run out and buy smokes or booze. Boise, Idaho is such that there are many shelters and organizations that feed and provide shelter for the homeless so I struggle with handing money out my window to a stranger. I would much rather donate it to the local food bank or shelter to make the most of it. Plus handing money out the window seems so impulsive and to me that isn’t how we are supposed to be with our finances. I don’t know… Any thoughts because I feel a bit callous about this whole thing.

With life comes anxiety, even more so if you have children. It is easy to be consumed with worry and anxiousness. For me I don’t realize just how much anxiety I have until I lay down to go to sleep. It doesn’t take long for the thoughts and emotions to come rushing out preventing me from getting my beauty sleep which in turn causes more anxiety. It has taken me a long time to learn how to deal with anxiety and there is a simple formula. 1. Admit to being anxious 2. Know the Lord is near 3. Don’t be anxious about anything 4. Prayer and petition 5. Thanksgiving 6. Peace of God will guard you heart and mind So now you are probably wondering “Jason what the heck are you talking about?” The point is this… We need to come to a place in our lives where we can see the anxiety and worry, not just living our lives on auto pilot. We need to be “confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 1:6) When we admit that we ...

For me it is a rare thing to read books published in the early 1900's but I think I have stumbled across an author that I like... Orison Swett Marden. He is straight forward and I could see how to some he may be too honestly brutal. Wanted, a man who will not lose his individuality in a crowd,k a man who has the courage of his convictions, who is not afraid to say "No," though all the world say "Yes." Wanted, a man who, though he is dominated by a mighty purpose, will not permit one great faculty to dwarf, cripple, warp, or mutilate his manhood; who will not allow the over-development of one faculty to stunt or paralyze his other faculties. Wanted, a man who is larger than his calling, who considers it a low estimate of his occupation to value it merely as a means of getting a living. Wanted, a man who sees self-development, education and culture, discipline and drill, character and manhood, in his occupation. Kind of poetic isn't it and from a godly perspec...

There are many ways to success and many degrees. Much of it depends on the person and what God has called them to do. Beecher said, "Do the best you can where you are; and, when that is accomplished, God will open a door for you, and a voice will call, "Come up hither into a higher sphere." Do not think just because you don't have money or capital to begin with you wont' be successful. Most of the rich men of the years began poor. The chances are you would be ruined if you had money. You can only use to advantage what has become a part of yourself by you earning it. It is estimated that not one rich man's son in 10,000 dies rich. God has given every man a capital to start with; we are born rich. He is rich who has good health, a sound boyd, good muscles; he is rich who has a good head, a good disposition, a good heart; he is rich who has two good hands, with five chances on each. Equipped? Every man is equipped as only God could equip him. What a for...

As a single dad I have realized that grocery shopping can have its challenges. With all the different selections these days and the long list of ingredients that I can’t pronounce I have cut way back on packaged foods and am buying fresh types of food products. While I am on the subject of shopping I do need to ask one quick question. I seem to have this perception that women are born with the ability to pick good fruit and vegetables. Is this true and should I stop watching them to see how they do it?? In the likelihood that I never get an answer to this question or it stirs up debate for years I have come across certain top secret information for men on how to pick the right foods to eat. I have learned that buying more than a weeks worth of produce only leads to waste and if I plan my consumption ahead of time I tend only buy what I can eat. I also have to put my vegetables out where I can see them because I forget, at times, that I bought a particular one to munch on during ...

Tips for Making Time with God 1. Making going to church a priority ! Many churches have several service times and some on Saturday nights. The also provide childcare. If going to church isn't an option at this point and time try watching a sermon on TV from a local church. You can also find sermons online but don't surf the Internet at the same time. Treat it as if you are really there with bible in hand. 2. Find a small group, bible study, to attend during the week ! I go every other week on a day I don't have Madalyn. I look for groups that are close to where I live so it doesn't take long to get home afterward... I need my sleep. 3. Find time to read your bible ! My daughter tends to be high maintenance so at times I feel I'm not able to read my bible or do many other things that need done. You would be surprised at the opportunities you may be passing up, I was. Trust me, I know there is always something that needs to get done but when you are nourishing the Spi...

Even though there is no shortage of resources on the internet or every where else for that matter about cooking I have decided since I really like to cook I am going to start a new section on healthy cooking and eating. Of course the healthy part may be up for debate however eventually I will have many fun and tasty recipes that I have enjoyed with my little girl. Yes, these have been child approved. Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup with Biscuits Chicken Soup Ingredients 1 49.5oz can of chicken broth 2 cups chopped carrots 2 cups chopped celery 1 small chopped onion 2 6oz cooked and chopped chicken breast 2 cups egg noodles Biscuit Ingredients 1 cup flour 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder (yes that is one and a half teaspoons, not one half) 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup milk 2 tablespoons olive oil While the chicken is cooking chop and combine all the ingredients except for the egg noodles into a 5.5 quart sauce pan (or whatever pan you have that is big enough). Once the chicken is done, chop ...

Another year has passed and you would think getting through the holidays would just get that much easier. Unfortunately it isn’t always like that. Every where you turn families are preparing the way for a grand celebration. Even with the fun at hand there seems to be a bit of tension and stress around holiday season. For me it is the shuttling of Madalyn between mom and dads’ house that really gets to me. Sometimes it is really hard because I would show up to the door to pick her up and she would kick and scream all the way to the car and home. Of course she was just having too much fun to leave. There is much to this co-parenting thing and if you have a good relationship with your ex then it makes things a lot easier. Unfortunately I don’t have that luxury at this point however, I have not let it stop me from doing the best I can. 1. Getting beyond the kicking and screaming – I have learned that children don’t like surprises. I am not talking about surprising them with a trip to Dairy...

I’ve noticed that at times I am an all or nothing kind of guy. If I can’t feed the world then why bother helping out at all or if I can’t care for a large group of people then why care at all. Sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it? Even a bit stupid. However I find myself in the frame of mind that more is better and if I can’t give everything in a perfect way then why give at all. I am learning that giving in small portions is okay and that God isn’t measuring what I am giving but the heart of giving. I recently helped with a food pantry and the only shortage was food. As I saw all these families coming through and the shelves emptying all I could think about is what I would do if I were rich. Well of course I would fill the shelves with food. But obviously I am not rich so what is the point, I will keep on doing what I am doing which is literally nothing…. Back to the all or nothing concept. So finally the church put out a call for food and I thought it was about time I stepped up t...