The Power of God?


Just recently I was sitting in my quiet home with thoughts running through my mind that really should not be there. I spent 20 minutes daydreaming/fantisizing of ways to get custody of Madalyn (most of which were... lets just say BAD). Matter of fact I have been spending way to much time with these kind of thoughts on my mind the past few days.

Now before everyone calls me crazy let me first say, "I know I am."

Here's what really bothers me right now - Where is God? What is He doing? Is Madalyn simply going to be another victim of this fallen world? Aren't any of my prayers in line with the will of God?
God please give me a sign, grant me wisdom, lead me, HELP, what should I do? - These are all daily requests but all I seem to get is silence.

So I start reading the bible for answers hoping to change what is on my mind and I get about 10 seconds into 2 Timothy chapter 3. It lists all the godlessness in the last days but what really struck me was verse 5 "having a form of goliness but denying its power."

This sentence stopped me in my tracks. Is this me? To be honest I have lost a lot of hope and belief in the power of God. Is this the reason my prayers are unfruitful is because of my lack of FAITH? And because of my lack of faith my mind is screaming of ways to be victorious.

There is much for me to ponder here....

May God restore my faith and trust.


Anonymous said...

Just my opinion...but I don't believe it is a lack of faith. When I was a kid at church they use to preach that if we had enough faith God would heal us when we were sick. So every time I got sick I not only felt miserable, but also felt terribly guilty for not having enough faith to get healed.

I don't have all of the answers. I do know that in my own life nothing seems to work out like I plan for it to. Life seems to stink most of the time. But I keep putting one foot in front of the other. And looking back through the hard times I can see that God has been with me. I have been in the midst of hard times for several years now. I keep hoping that God will help me out of it...and soon. Instead I see he is walking beside me (although so often I wonder if he is really there). Hang in there. Stay as close to God as you can and keep your eyes on him. Watch out for the temptations of the world to try to pull you away from him - especially when you are struggling. God bless!

Someone who understands.

Jason said...

Thanks, I will hang in there... it just feels like I am being beaten down. It is like your parents, day after day telling you "no", that you can't have something or anything you ask for. When am I going to get the "YES"? When I do will it be because God finally gave into my request and I will regret it later down the line? I just don't feel like I will ever win. But then I guess it is not all about me. :-)

Shannon said...

I too got some news yesterday that fit your description of the parent always saying "no." A friend reminded me that it wasn't God saying "no," it was Him saying "not yet." PATIENCE...why didn't I just come knowing how to live in patience?! Afterall it is the FIRST thing listed in 1 Cor. 13 in the love passage, and I do have a heart of love. Hang in there Jason!

Jason said...

Patience!! What the heck is that. Not in my vocab. :-)