Someone Set Me Straight

Here it is another Friday and I am contemplating my extreme selfishness... Madalyn is with her mother and I am going stir crazy. Let me remind everyone that it has been about a year and a half since my ex left and I can't remember a day when I have not missed that little "stinker-buuug" (I am referring to Madalyn not my ex).

I often pray that I would be the only parent in Madalyn's life, that she would be with me ALL the time. I know that is selfish and maybe not the best thing for Madalyn. I know she needs her mom but I HATE it when she is not here. So Jason why don't you get a hobby better yet how about a life that doesn't revovle around a 3 year old.

Well I have a hobby which is a home business, I go to work, I go to church, volunteer on occassion, read, write, watch scifi, and every now and then hang out with friends. But with all this I miss Madalyn. Maybe I need a wife.... hmmmm! Something to consider. Okay, I feel better, just needed to vent. :-)

Comments

Kae said…
People think im weird but this is why i actually thank God my youngest daughters father isnt in our life. He was the worst person and we are so much better off. And yes i am selfish of my daughters, i dont want to share. I dont think its wrong. :) I have no advice but i know how your feelings.
April 25, 2008 at 6:08 PM
Anonymous said…
Christian Single Dad,

I don't really have any advice for you this time - because I struggle with the exact same issues myself. Tonight the house is filled with a flurry of activity: playtime, supper, baths, more playtime, snacks before bed, and bedtime prayers. But tomorrow they will be gone and the house will be so quiet I will be able to hear the refrigerator hum. Then I will struggle from one mundane task to the next as I pass the time until they return.

Just my opinion, but it might be wise to be extremely cautious about the 'wife' idea. I have watched so many people jump into crazy relationships just to fill the void. Not to say that it will never happen, but lonliness can be a dangerous guide.

I hope you are able to find the solution to this struggle. If you do be sure to post it (please)...I am looking for it too.

Someone who understands.
April 25, 2008 at 6:14 PM
Jason said…
Thanks Kaebug, actually that makes me feel a little better. I struggle sometimes with what I perceive to be "bad" in me and I tend to be on the selfish side... I doubt that would shock many women out there. Plus I am a big baby!
April 25, 2008 at 6:15 PM
Jason said…
Someone who understands,

You have a knack for making me laugh. I believe you really do understand. I wish I did have some answers... I know I don't want to jump into a relationship but it seems that it is what I have wanted for a very long time and just because it did not work with my first wife doesn't mean it won't work this time as long as I let God guide. But it is up to Him if it happens or not.

I envy your night, sounds like routine and fun!!!
April 25, 2008 at 10:37 PM
Anonymous said…
Jason....are you hearing God in the quiteness or are you busy telling Him what you want? He knows the desires of your heart...can you hear Him whispering to your heart? The silence can be deafening somedays. Maybe God wants a deeper relationship between you and Him before he'll bring that special partner into your life that will bring you even closer to Him (hard lesson for me too! Yes I'm taking out the log in my eye before helping you with your speck)....Started reading a chapter of Proverbs each day of the month, every month. Learning soooo much, C.
BTW cute kittens & Plutos
April 29, 2008 at 8:33 PM
Jason said…
C, I must confess that I am terrible at listening to God. I have struggled for YEARS with this. It is even harder for me now that I have a child. I know it is an area of improvement and thanks for the reminder...
April 30, 2008 at 5:51 PM
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