Communication with Mom
Over the past several weeks things have been very quiet between me and the ex. No late night calls to come get Madalyn, no call reminding me what a terrible guy I am, nothing... Yes, I know this is a good thing, as you guessed there is a "but". Those annoyances provided me with the opportunity to see Madalyn more than my normal time.
I still get her 50% but it used to be more. The problem I have is that I realized that I am, for a lack of a better term, scared. I miss Madalyn a lot and I would like to talk to her on the phone but I don't want to call because I would have to talk to her mom. So I sit, saddened and discouraged wondering why I just don't pick up the phone and call.
I haven't even called to talk about Madalyn's biting at daycare. The real sad thing is I know this shouldn't be a big deal. I have dealt with so much more and worse. I should know better!
I still get her 50% but it used to be more. The problem I have is that I realized that I am, for a lack of a better term, scared. I miss Madalyn a lot and I would like to talk to her on the phone but I don't want to call because I would have to talk to her mom. So I sit, saddened and discouraged wondering why I just don't pick up the phone and call.
I haven't even called to talk about Madalyn's biting at daycare. The real sad thing is I know this shouldn't be a big deal. I have dealt with so much more and worse. I should know better!
2 comments:
Jason,
I know what you are going through. Talking to my x helps me understand what type of mindset he is in...and helps me know more about how my children are doing while in his care. But I must say I look forward to the day when my kiddos are grown and I don't have to stay in such constant communication with him.
In other words...the lack of communication (just not knowing) can be both frustrating and scary.
Added to that is the struggle of being away from your child more - which can be so very hard to deal with.
I try to pray and give it over to God, but so often I "take it back." My learning to trust in him is such an ongoing struggle...one which I hope to win someday. Is that even possible?
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your precious daughter.
-Someone Who Understands (SWU)
P.S. I love the black/white picture and the post about bedtime...so precious!
I am good at "taking things back" to. I am even worse at quieting my mind and listening...
:-)
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