Letting Go and Moving On


One of my recent posts talked about everything being quiet between my ex and I. It is kind of funny because I have been doing a lot of praying about being able to see Madalyn more and WHAM! not long after putting the post on my blog I get a call. Mom is not going to be able to get Madalyn for the week. The week ends and I get another call, this time mom is crying, still not going to be able to get Madalyn.

Come to find out my ex is having problems with finding affordable living accommodations and paying her bills. This has been going on for several months now but I thought she had it all worked out. Anyhow, Madalyn is with me and I am feeling a little guilty. I know the kid misses her mom and I need to put the kid first. So I invited mom to come get Madalyn and go get her hair cut, go out for ice cream, and then go out to dinner, my treat. You should have seen the kids face when mom showed up at the door. She was so cute and a little shocked. She didn’t know how to respond with mom and dad in the same room.

It was cute and sad at the same time. I guess if I am ever to find another wife I better get over my resentment of my ex. I have been keeping distance between us because I can’t forgive her for what she did and being around her makes me sick to my stomach. But that is selfish and that is my problem that I have given over to God. I am ready to move on! If I can bring a smile to Madalyn’s face the way her mom did that Saturday then it is worth letting go.

Please pray that I will forgive my ex and myself and be able to put the past behind me. I am ready to see what God has in store for me, I am ready to receive it! I want to let someone else into my life so I can love even more. I need someone to help keep me in my place. :-)


Kae said...

from working in preschools i notice that the girls always give daddies a harder time when they drop them off than mom and always have brighter smiles for dad when they pick them up, even if they see dad every day. (it also takes quite a bit more time to calm down the girls after dad leaves) It takes us who are with them longer a lot more work to get those smiles, but little suprises even something as small as a Popsicle after dinner or a sticker from their favorite show does it. something different from the daily routine.

it took me almost 2 years to forgive my ex and his family for all the things that went on during our marriage and divorce. My heart is so much lighter now. Although it did help that i never had to see him though. :)

Jason said...

Thanks for the encouraging words. I must say though that I am amazed at how you single moms can pull it all off... Since mom is going through another one of her phases I have had Madalyn for a couple weeks now and I just can't get it all done. It would be so much easier if I was rich and could hire a maid. :-)

Anonymous said...

Whatever you do, please get over the resentment of your ex. My husband was divorced prior to meeting me. He hates his ex with a passion and I think that in the end, I ended up paying for it with his mistrust of me and other things. For your own sanity and soul health, get over it somehow. Bitterness is a cancer that spreads into other aspects of your life and will leave you cynical and very hard hearted. It happened to my husband and that is why we are having the problems we are.

Jason said...

What really seems to get me these days is the lonliness... Those are the times I feel the most bitter. I don't want it anymore.

Anonymous said...

If you're able, try working something out so that every weekend mom gets to see Madalyn. Even if you all just go to the park, the art museum, pick things that are free. Meet mom half way if you can so no one has to use more gas.
My daughteres father and I did not even make it to the birth of our daughter as a couple but the important thing is not OUR relationship, but the relationship with our daughter. We are a fantastic parenting team because we understand what's imporant is a healthy relationship and not JUST a relationship.
Try to remember when you're not getting along that it's not personal. More than likely she is having a hard time in HER life. I've found a quick fix for a bad day is a smile and a hug from my little one. :)

Jason said...

I truly enjoy watching Madalyn as she gets excited to be with her mom. I just wish her mom could be more consistent. I have come along way to put things behind me and I feel for her mom... I agree it is good for Madalyn to see her mom often and I will try to make is so.