Insecurities

I have been trying to figure out lately why Madalyn asks for her mom so much. Part of me feels like a failure because I am under the impression that Madalyn does not want to be with me. I know that isn't true but unfortunately I have an overly active imagination at times.

Madalyn is almost 4 years old and I just thought she would understand the situation a bit better. She used to be excited to be with me, and I think she still is but she talks about going back to her mom's often. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that her mom lives with another guy. Even though it isn't the same guy she was living with 3 months ago. Maybe Madalyn feels like it is more of a family situation with a man and a woman living together. Maybe this is her desire.

Or maybe I just need to let this one go.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Just a quick note to let you know how much I appreciate your blog Jason. I think you are wise and I share many similar struggles in this life.

Thanks, Ken
November 13, 2008 at 5:10 AM
Anonymous said…
Ken again -

Be strong and even though your daughter may be preferring her mom, you need to stay strong and love her. When she gets older, she will come to know your character and your love for her. Don't give in to the feelings. Be guided by principal and not emotion. Easier said than done, I know. Hang in there
November 13, 2008 at 5:15 AM
Jason said…
Epiphany moment... It was only one post ago that I talked about managing my emotions but I thought mostly about anger. After reading your reply Ken it dawned on me feelings (emotions) were getting the best of me. I just miss her so much when I am not with her it hurts to think she doesn't want to be with her dad.
November 13, 2008 at 10:24 AM
Anonymous said…
Hi. I am a single dad, too. and I was raised by my dad and missed my mom. It wasnt that I didnt want to be with dad, I just felt insecure and unsure if mom still loved me. I am raising 2 kids alone now and I make sure that they see their mom as often as possible. Of coarse I feel useless when they are away and I cant get out of my own way because I go from managed choas to silence in the time it takes to drive them two counties away. (truthfully I do enjoy the quiet for about 3 hours -- Then I want them to come home)
I am no expert, but It is my opinion that the best things you as a dad can give a child (especially a daughter) is stability, consistant parenting, Love tempered with discipline, and security. Luckily, as men, we seem to be programmed this way for the most part. Of coarse it can be tough when you have to remember bus notes, review report cards, cook supper, clean the house, etc.

Dont you think its worth it, though. God has given us an incredible gift in the opportunity to be with our kids much more often than most men. Its our duty to stay strong and committed to our purpose, and to be faithful in all things. (to me, that mostly means battling anxiety -- believing that it WILL BE OK. and it always is.

I want to say one more thing, though. I saw a plaqu in someone's house once that said this "A home should be clean enough to be healthy, yet dirty enough to be happy" That helped me to stop putting so much pressure on myself to be 'perfect'. Not sure if it will help anyone else, but I felt the need to share.

Good luck and keep yourself focused on what matters...your amazing gift from God....that little girl. Thanks.

Ron

Feel free to keep in touch by email. ron1daddy@yahoo.com
November 19, 2008 at 5:44 AM
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