Raising a Confident Child – Part 1


There seems to be a difference between good praise and bad praise. One leads to a self-centered attitude while the other builds a positive self-image and self-esteem. As a parent I don’t want my daughter to struggle with some of the same self-image issues that I have struggled with all these years. I now see the light and the power in a positive self-image. With the right praise we can raise our children to be less dependent on what others think and make decisions based on what they approve of for themselves. It is when we are worried about what others think we tend to fall under the bad influences of others. I know I did and I went down a long road that most likely took years off my life and stunted my emotional growth for years.

How to Praise Children

Praise should not be void of context, effort, or accomplishment. Also, praise should not be limited to raise a “responsible” child. Here are some simple tips to praise your children from family.samhsa.gov – Affirming our children’s attempts as well as successes helps them achieve their goals. However, it is the content and the context as much as the act of praising that helps them develop concepts of fairness, effort, competence, and achievement as they relate to others.

Using descriptive and appreciative praise can help them develop self-confidence and self-motivation.

Descriptive Praise…

  • Focuses on the specifics of their accomplishments.

  • Is free of evaluation.

  • Affirms what has been done rather than evaluates what has been done.

  • Leaves room for your child to draw their own conclusion and make the evaluation. “I feel proud or I am creative.”

  • The evaluation of the level of effort is internal. It is being appreciated by the person the child needs to trust most – themselves.

When you give descriptive praise to your children you should do it so they feel good about themselves and reinforce their behavior. Be honest and mean what you say! “I am happy with the way your effort has improved your math grade.” Offer praise along the way. You can start praising your child before they make it to the end. “I see your effort is helping you make progress on getting more math questions right.” Mix up and build your vocabulary. Use different words to help describe your child’s accomplishments. Be specific. Talk about the child’s specific accomplishment in terms of their performance and real skills or talent. Say, “I like the way you organized and wrote your book report,” not just “I’m proud of you.”

Raising a Confident Child Part 2


Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Jason said...

Thanks... I am learning to keep my emotions in check and reach for topics that I need help with. I think I am maturing a bit. :-) And hopefully growing a lot!